Family

First off... I must tell everyone what my sweet, innocent, little Dubeee learned. Dubeee... who is a female... has learned to hump her new toy monkey. I do not know how or where she learned this... but I must say... it is one of the funniest things I have ever seen. She looks just like a male dog humping... except... she's a girl and has nothing to hump with. I just don't get it.

Anyways... dog humping aside... my family is in town. We spent the day at the mall... then we ate pizza at our house... then watched a movie.

Oh... and before the ladies made it back to the house, all the guys (Me, my cousin, my dad, and my new uncle) all sat around a played Halo 2 for a while. My dad and new uncle are not any good... but it was still fun playing with them.

After everyone went back over to my grandma's house to go to bed... my brother, Panda, my cousin, and myself played Halo 2 for a little bit longer.

Once Christopher and Panda left, I showed my cousing Destory All Humans... this game is freaking hillarious. (Thanks Luke)

Now I am off to watch some more Smallville. I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas... I mean... Happy Holidays. (Gee... I'd hate to offend someone by saying the word Christmas) *rolls eyes*

Christmas Shopping

I have finished most of my Christmas shopping. My mom woke me up at 1100 then we left the house around 1230. We went and ate lunch, then spent the rest of the day shopping.

There are only 3 more presents I need to buy... hopefully I will be able to find and buy them by Saturday.

Hmm... maybe next year I should give myself a challenge and do all of my Christmas shopping on the 24th.

Also... I've thought about this before... but I may as well make it public.
1st... I don't think I'll be telling my future kids about Santa. I don't think it's right to lie to kids and tell them that Santa exists just so you can do your shopping in peace. I mean... what happens at the stores when a kid acts up around Christmas time? The parent looks sweetly at their "little angel" and then sings "Behave yourself, or Santa won't bring you any presents."
No... these parents should look at their little brat and say "If you don't start respecting my authority I'm going to kick you in the teeth." I bet that would scare that little shit they call their child into submission.

2nd... I think I may tell my future kids that Christmas is really celebrated on December 27th. That way I can make it to all the Day-After-Christmas sales and buy all of my kids' presents for super cheap. And if I'm unable to buy the toys they want... well... it would just give me a perfect opportunity to demonstrate to them that we don't always get what we want... and that we should be happy for what we do get.

Man... I can't wait to have some little brats of my own. I'm going to teach them all kinds of cool stuff. *evil grin*

Anyways... I'm off to finish watching Smallville. I'm halfway through the 3rd season.

Home At Last

Finally... I'm home.

The way things were going, I wasn't sure if I'd ever be able to drive home.

The drive was the same boring drive that it always is. Thankfully I enjoy listening to music... so that helps keep me entertained whilst driving.

Ahh... I forgot how nice it is to be in a heated house. I wish that one day my roommates will learn that A/C in the summer and heat in the winter is a good thing. Don't get me wrong... saving money on the electric bill is nice... but to me... I'd rather spend the little extra and use the wonderful invention known as an air conditioning unit.

So tomorrow... I've got to see the doctor about this (these) bump(s) in my armpit. Upon closer examination... it looks like some sort of a bite. It's definitely not a boil. Boils are typically round... this is not round. It looks like two swollen lines with a small valley in between them. I can't wait for the swelling to go down so that I can start wearing deodorant again. I don't understand how international students aren't able to smell the stench created by not wearing deodorant.

Well, I've talked to two old friends today. My old friend Jared, who I met when I was in 3rd grade and later went to high school with, and my old friend Daniel who went to school with me back in 2nd and 3rd (I think) grade. I'll be hanging out with them whilst I am home.

Other than that... I don't think I have anything else to say.

Oh... except I need to write that paper on smoking. Yes... I now have free time to write it... so I need to take advantage of that while the opportunity exists.

I'm almost home...

Well... the poop-water is all dried up. Our floors are back to normal now... except... the house reeks of poop and mildew. I've decided that the house smells like a roller-skating rink. Mmm Mmm.

Andy is all moved out now... and I am all moved in. I have taken over Andy's room. So now Dubee and I have our own room. This is going to be nice. No more worrying about keeping anyone up... no more being woken up earlier than is needed (sort of).

However, I would gladly continue sharing a room with Andrew if it meant that Andy would be staying. It's going to be quite different now that he's gone. But it's ok. We all have to graduate and move on at some point.

I was going to drive back home this afternoon... but since the toilet decided to "spew it's heresy" onto the floor... the plans have changed. So now I will be driving back tomorrow (technically today)after I help move the furniture back into Andrew's room.

Moving has been a bit... difficult. I have a very painful bump in my right armpit. I'm thinking it's a boil. So I will be seeing a doctor on Tuesday to try and fix this. Seriously... this little bastard hurts. I can't even raise my arm up without feeling like someone just put a cigar out on my pit.

Speaking about doctors... I've got to see the knee doctor again. This time... if he tries to stick those needles in my knees... I'm going to kick him in the penis. Seriously.
Also... I've got to get my wisdom teeth pulled on the 4th of January. Talk about a fun Christmas break.

Last Night...

Wow... I don't even know where to begin with this post. I guess I should just start at the beginning.

Andy graduated at 1400... so Sam, Stephen, Andy's family, Laura, and myself went to watch the (painfully slow) ceremony. Good ol' Barb Bush was the speaker.

After the graduation, we all went to eat somewhere... I forgot the name. The food was excellent.

After we had finished eating, we came back to the house to celebrate.

However... the celebration was cut short.

Sam came inside to get some more drinks for everyone (we were in the Cancer Shack)... upon his return he informed us that the toilet was overflowing and that water is standing all over the floor in the living room and in my room. I went to see the damage.

As I walked inside, I immediately noticed the water by the stairs. As I stood on the carpet there a nice sized puddle formed around my boot's impression. I said a choice word or two.

I then went into my room to see the damage done in there. I noticed the water was just as bad in my room as it was by the stairs. Then I noticed that my computer was swimming in a pool of water. I again said a choice word or two.

I turned off the computer... unhooked all of my electronics... and now all of my possesions are in the middle of our living room.

I then went to Wal-Mart to hopefully rent a wet/dry vac. All they had were steam cleaners... and I didn't think that adding more water to the already existing water would be a good idea... so I decided to see how much the wet/dry vacs cost.

I found one for $25. It's a Shop-Vac mini. (I should've just spent the extra $25 and bought the bigger one... but oh well.)

Now... I must say... I am highly impressed with the Shop-Vac company. That little bastard of a machine was able to suck up most of the water in the floor. However, as I said a moment ago... I should have bought the bigger one.

Sam and I spent from 1215 to 0415 sucking up the water in the floor. We calculated that we easily emptied 15 gallons (if not more) of water within those four hours.

Throughout the night there were many choice words uttered by me... and many drinks drank by me... and many a cigarette smoked by me. Twas a good night up until the toilet decided to drain it's pipes in our floor.

The floor is still damp... but 4 hours of work (while a bit tipsy) was more than enough. Now our house smells like a clean gas station bathroom... I'm just hoping we don't find any hidden "nuggets" tomorrow whilst cleaning.

Tomorrow shan't be fun... at least I cannot forsee it being much fun. There is so much work to do around the house now... and it must be finished before Andy and I leave for the holidays.

And now... I am going to go change out of my potty-water soaked jeans and then climb into bed. I would bathe... but... I'm too tired.

What? At least I washed my hands.

Anyways...

I'm sorry that Andy's graduation celebration was turned into a night of cleaning shit water.

But at least it wasn't all bad. We still managed to have a good time. Hanging out with friend's is always much fun.

Ok... bed. Oh wait... I forgot.
The floor by my bed is still wet with the poo-water. I hope I can figure out a way of getting in (and out) of bed without stepping on the wet spots.

And needless to say... I will not be walking around my house barefoot for quite some time.

Good night (or morning... however you look at it)

PS Sorry for any misspellings. It's F'ing late and I'm tired.

Friends, Fun, and Mystery Beer

Last night was much fun. Andy, Amanda, Ed, and myself sat outside around the fire. Amanda had wine, Andy and Ed had both beer and wine... and I only had beer (for I dislike wine).

As always, hanging out with friends is much fun. However, the night was cut short once it started raining. We came inside and continued talking.

After 5 beers I decided I should go to bed. However, I wanted to finish off the six pack... but I decided against it so that I would have an extra beer tonight. I think I have a total of 8 left. I could be wrong.

Tonight, Mike, Ed, Andy, and myself ended up at a bar. I love this bar because it's usually not packed, and it has a nice environment (little to no loud college students).

I decided to order the mystery beer. It was only $1.50. Seeing as how it was a mystery beer... it was not good at all.

The (cute) bar tender was having a good time at my expense. She continued to harrass me since I was unable to guess what beer it was that I was drinking.

So after about 20 or 30 minutes of trying to guess this beer, the bar tender finally decided to tell me what it was that I was drinking. It was Keystone Light. *gag*

Since she had such a good time laughing at me, she decided not to charge me for the beer. And as we all know... free beer is good beer.

We're now back at the house. As soon as I finish this post and go to the potty, we're going to continue drinking. We're going to see about getting electricity back into the Cancer Shack so that we can sit out side with our pipes, cigars, cigarettes and alcohol.

I need to get a picture of the inside and outside of the Cancer Shack. I'm going to miss that once I move out of here. Maybe one day, when I get my own house, I can have a nice Cancer Shack made in the back yard. We shall see.

Anyways, the potty's-a-callin' and so is the beer. So I must be leaving. I shall give more of an update on my life later.

Let the Drinking Begin

That's right... Finals are over!

I ended up making a 94 in my computer class...
an 80 (or 85 if he curves) on my Anthropology class... which gives me a "B" in the class.
And I'm not sure about Children's Literature... but I feel fairly confident that I did alright.

And now... I have enough wood out back to burn all night... and enough beer in the fridge to last all night.

So... if you don't hear from me tomorrow... I'm still in bed.

Studying Sucks!

I am more than ready for this semester to be over with. I spent the majority of yesterday and most of today studying. I have not actually studied in quite some time. I forgot how boring it is.

Anyways... about that final I took on Friday. I made a 90 on the test... which gives me a 93 overall grade. I am quite happy about this. A's are a great GPA booster.

Well... an "A" is not quite in my reach for my remaining classes. However, a "B" is. And I'll be happy with a "B".

All that's left is Children's Literature and Anthropology.
The past two days has been spent reading many a children’s book. Two were interesting... the other two... not so much. Yang the Youngest and His Terrible Ear and Ramona and Her Father were ok... however, I don't see myself ever reading these to my children.
But Psyche's Art royally sucked. I could barely follow it... which tells me that I either have the mental capacity less than that of a child... or the book sucks. I think I'll stick with the latter.
I'm currently reading Roll of Thunder Hear My Cry which I'm not too fond of. I'm having a hard time relating to the story... but seeing as how it's a story of an oppressed black family only a few years after slavery was abolished... it's not surprising that I can't relate. I've never been a slave... I've never been oppressed (depressed, maybe... but never oppressed).

So tomorrow will be spent finishing the last of Rolling Thunder, studying various terms that I must define for Children's Lit., and studying the 100 review questions for Anthropology.

Then on Tuesday... I will take these last two finals. Tuesday night will be spent drinking much beer and smoking much tobacco.

Speaking of tobacco... tonight I purchased a pack of coffee flavored/scented bidis. For those of you who are unaware as to what a bidi is... it's tobacco wrapped in a tea leaf... and I'm sure they add something to make the different flavors.
The coffee flavored ones are ok... however, the strawberry flavored ones are much better. Avoid the vanilla. It is not so good.

And now I must crawl into my personal oven... otherwise known as my bed.

Oh... before I go to bed. I almost forgot the more important part of this post.
Although studying sucks... it can be made more enjoyable by studying with friends. None of us were studying material that was even close to being related... but we all sat at our table in the library and studied. Mike farted continuously for several hours... which gave us all a good laugh. (and they smelled terrible by the way)... Andy, Amanda, Mike, and myself would occasionally make a comment that would distract one another... which distractions are quite welcome after a long time of staring at a book. Tomorrow... I have a date with the library.

And now... I must bake. Good night my faithful blog readers.

1st Final

I'm about 5 minutes away from taking my first final. I didn't study for it at all... but that's because I haven't even opened the text book once this entire semester. Why? Well... because it's a simple class. One of the questions that will be on the test is "What are the red squiggly lines under a word in MSWord?" Hmm... maybe it's because it's not spelled correctly?
So... this weekend will be spent studying for my other finals. I have much reading to do to be able to pass these tests.

Oh... and some time over the Christmas break I am going to write a post about smokers being the only group that is legally discriminated against. I'm saying this more as a reminder for myself.

And now... the test begins.

Turn Up the Heat

"It's so cold I could snap my genitals off like a graham cracker." - Stephen Colbert.

For Eskimos, like my brother, last night and today could be spent outside comfortably. However, for us normal people, it's f'ing cold out.

I remember hearing many complain about the heat during the summer. (I'm guilty of this as well)

But now... I'd gladly trade this arctic weather for 100 degrees of heat.

Last night Mike, Caleb, and myself decided to run to H.E.B. to get more cigarettes (Camel Light = $2.88 and Buglers = $1.64 In other words, it's the cheapest place to buy tobacco in town). After H.E.B. we decided to go eat at IHOP.

So, we went out to get in my car... I went to unlock the passenger side door... only to realize that the keyhole was completely iced over and I could not get the key in there. So I unlocked the driver's side... got in... reached over and unlocked the passenger side door... only to find that they were iced shut. Mike and Caleb had to lift the handle while I pushed from the inside.

We then realized that there was so much ice on the windows that I could not see to drive. So I began to scrape at the windows with a 3½ floppy disk. (What? It's all I had)
Mike went inside and got some water to pour on the windshield. I was a little wary at this... but he insured me that if he cracked my windshield that he would replace it... so I let him pour the water on the window.

In the mean time, I had the engine running... and the defroster blasting at full speed on the window.

Eventually... after a few pots of water, a few minutes of scraping, and a few minutes of the defroster blazing, we removed all the ice from the windshield. Off we went.

So we bought the tobacco products and went to IHOP. (They open their smoking section after 10pm... so we could enjoy our cigarettes in the nice, warm inside.) We ate... then came back to the house.

Then this morning I woke up only to find that it was even colder out than it was last night.

I loathe cold weather. I'm already looking forward to the inferno known as summer.

And now I'm finished rambling... I've got a lot of studying to do... so... that's all I have to say about that.

Poopie!!!

I debated whether I should add a picture for this post... but I decided against it. And since you probably don't know why I decided against a picture for this post... I shall explain.

Last night was spent in the back yard with some cigarettes (and Black & Milds), beer, friends, and of course... the fire. As I mentioned... we had beer this time. And there's still some in the fridge. (Praise be to God!)

As the fire began to die out, I went walking around the back yard in search of fallen branches or any other item/object made of wood. I managed to gather a small pile... enough for another half hour fire.

I didn't notice this until I came back inside... but whilst I was out gathering wood for the fire... I managed to step in some of Socrates' poopie. It must have been a rather large "log" because it covered almost the entire bottom of my boot.

So... I tell this story to explain what's going on at the moment... here in the library.

I managed to clean off most of the poopie... however, there is still a bit under the boot. There's enough still on the boot that I can smell it from my chair. *evil grin*
People keep sitting down next to me... then a few minutes later they get up and move. This has happened about 3 or 4 times now. I keep getting looked at as if I had shat myself or something.
Hmm... I wonder what this girl would do if I decided to prop my feet up on the table.

No... I shan't do that.

So I guess... the moral of the story is... if you have poopie on the bottom of your shoe, be sure to clean it off or you will offend your nose (and the noses that sit near you).

**after thought**
Maybe I should've posted a picture...

The Porch

Tonight was much fun.

For those who are unaware, our porch has been the place to hang out for many a year. However, recently our porch has been a bit empty. Don't get me wrong, we still sit out there quite a bit... just not near as much as we used to.

Back to tonight...
Amanda, Andy, Mike and myself were going to hang out on the porch... but since it is so damn cold out, we decided to hang out in the back yard... crowded around the barbeque pit. I started a fire in there... and it kept us all warm enough to smoke/talk. Unfortunately, our presence was not graced by any beer. For shame!

I don't know what it is about fires, but I don't think I've ever had a dull moment around a fire. *thinks* Hmm... if my house were to ever catch on fire... I could see that being a not so great moment. But my house has never caught on fire... so... I can still say that I've enjoyed ever fire I've ever been around.

Back to the porch...
I forgot how much I enjoyed sitting out there with a good tobacco product, friends, and some beers. The first summer I lived in this house was the best time I've had here. The porch was never vacant. We even had a swinging bench (complete with nasty cushions found in one of the neighbors' trash). Many stories have been told... many great conversations have taken place... and many good times have been shared on the porch.

My goal for next semester is to try and bring the good times back to the porch. (or rather have more good times on the porch than there have been this semester) The challenge is... all the people who enjoyed hanging out on the porch drinking/smoking/talking have all graduated. I don't really know many of the people still in this town. I guess that's something I need to work on.

Ah... relaxing porch... how I loveth thee.

I'm Procrastinating

Well... there's only so many cigarettes one can smoke before he realizes that it is time to work.

I have a paper due tomorrow. The paper is supposed to talk about either race or gender related things in a specific piece of children's literature.

I really hate this type of topic. I feel as if I'm supposed to say "The white man is so evil. We are all sexist, racist, bastards. We should apologize to the world for existing... blah blah blah..."

I know that is not what is required for this paper... it's just that every time the topic of race or gender comes up I feel that is the type of response the professor is looking for.

I've got very little work (practically none) done for this paper. Thankfully, I only need two sources and only 2000 words. I should have no problem kicking this out before I go to bed. We shall see.

Like I said... I'm procrastinating... so I will continue to type until I finally decide to start working on the paper.

Our house is freezing right now. I absolutely loathe cold weather. (My brother does not. He's a freakin' Eskimo) I purchased an electric blanket the other day. That was by far the best $30 I've ever wasted.

I would have just turned on the heater... but I was informed by 2 of the three upstairs roommates that it is much hotter upstairs than it is downstairs. Therefore, I didn't want to turn the heater on and make the rest of the roommates suffer (besides, I was the only one complaining about how cold it was/is). That is the reason for the purchase of the electric blanket.

The first night under the blanket... ahh... it was like climbing into my own personal oven. I baked all night. It was by far the best sleep I've had in quite some time.


The semester is almost over. (Praise be to God!) This semester has been a royal pain in the ass. I haven't been this stressed out since my last year in the Marines. However, next semester looks promising. I think I'll enjoy those classes much more than the ones taken this semester. I don't know why I thought taking two literature classes in the same semester was a good idea... it was not.

I was just about to take a picture of Dübeee... but the batteries in my camera died just as I was zooming in on her. She's asleep on her back... legs sprawled out in four directions... and she has her stuffed pig in her mouth. I love this dog.

I need to go Christmas shopping... but that's going to have to wait until I get home... which will give me a total of 5 days to get everything for everyone. Thankfully I know what I'm going to get... so it shouldn't take any longer than one good day of shopping.

I'm thinking of changing the background of my blog again... I like the red satin... but I want something else. However, I do not know what I want to change it to. I'm thinking of black bathroom tile... which I may do in a moment... but I still want something different. If any of you can find a cool tile to throw in the background... if I like it... I'll use it. Just email the picture to me.

And now... I think it's time for one more cigarette... then the paper. (and modifying the blog a bit more... and other types of procrastinating)

Ring... shopping?

Andy and I were talking earlier today. He told me about this guy who proposed to his girlfriend, and her answer wasn't, no, yes, or maybe... instead... she looked at him and said "I'll marry you if you'll buy me a better ring."

Granted, this doesn't happen all that often... but the concept of "ring shopping" happens all the time. I've heard many couples talk about going to the jewelry store to pick out her new engagement ring.

WTF?

I don't know when this concept started... but I do not like it at all. First off... it's a gift. What gives the girl the right to pick this out? Isn't it enough that the guy is about to spend a ton of money on a ring for her? Why can't she just be happy with whatever ring he chooses to buy for her?

The idea of her picking out her engagement ring completely blows my mind. I mean... the guy doesn't help her pick out her wedding dress... why should she be allowed to help pick out her gift?

I hope my future wife (assuming I'll eventually get married) doesn't think she's going to tag along with me to the jewelry store when I go to buy her ring... because she'll be disapointed.

I find the women's expectation of picking out her own engagement ring to be extremely ungrateful. Be happy that's he's willing to spend anywhere from several hundred to $3000+ on you.

Talent Show

Back in high school I never tried out for the talent show. My saxophone quartet thought about doing it... but we decided not to for some reason. However, I did go to one of our talent shows... and... well... it was ok... but it was nothing like these guys. (the video is 6 min. long... and it may take a while to download... but it's worth it.)

If this group didn't win the talent show... I would be completely surprised.
Enjoy.