Two Part Post
This weekend, as I was observing my grandparents, I was inspired to write a post. However, I just went to go eat dinner (or get a midnight snack... depending on how you want to look at it) when something happened to me that needs to be blogged about as well. A part of me doesn't want to make the first part of this post because I fear that it may distract attention away from the second (and more important) part. But, since I think I'll be too distracted to write part two without first commenting on part one, I've decided that I'm going to write about it anyways.
Part 1
As I was about to decide to go to bed, the urge to actually eat something overpowered my drowsiness, so I decided to put off sleeping and go fill my belly with nutrients (not that Taco Bell is really nutritious).
Before I go any further, I believe a bit of background is necessary for full understanding of this situation.
For a really long time I have had "crazy" people randomly come up to me and either tell me their life problems, or request some favor of me. For example, I once had a manager at a CiCi's pizza place tell me of his marital problems... how he can't stand his wife, how he wants to leave her, and other such things. Another example would be the time some random woman at a Wal-Mart asked me for a ride home. I told her that I wasn't leaving any time soon... assuming that she'd give up on me and ask other people. However, she waited 45 minutes for me, then followed me on my way out. At this point, I decided to be nice (surprise surprise) so I agreed to take her home. However, instead of giving me directions to her house she had me drive all over the town, making random stops for a phone call here, or to ask someone for money there. After this went on for a few minutes I realized that the woman was waiting for her drug dealer to get back to his apartment so she could make her purchase. Since he was unreachable to her, she then asked me to take her back to Wal-Mart so she could get something. (It's been so long now that I don't fully remember what she needed back at Wal-Mart.) She did request that I wait for her... I did not. Once she got out of my car I left.
Anyways, I could go on and on about that stuff, but there's no need. I just mention this kind of stuff so you can get a better feel for what happened to me tonight.
After getting my food from Toxic Hell... I mean Taco Bell and eating almost all of it, some guy who works there (off the clock at this point) came and sat down at my table with me. From the smell of his breath I could tell that he had been drinking, so rather than asking him to leave and possibly starting a scene, I decided to just finish my last few bites and be on my way.
When will I learn?
This guy starts telling me about an issue he just had with his roommate, about how his roommate always goes into defensive mode no matter what he says to him, bla bla bla. He then tells me that he's looking for some drugs to get his mind off the situation "at home." *sigh* Then he tells me about how he's queer (his words) and that it seems to be a problem for his roommate.
By this point my food's gone, and I'm ready to leave to get back to my apartment.
Then, out of nowhere, this dude tells me that I'm hot. Totally took me off guard. I had to ask him to repeat himself because I was sure I heard incorrectly. Unfortunately, I did not.
So now that I was extremely uncomfortable I started looking a way out of the place. He continued to talk to me about other stuff, and just before I get up to leave he then stated again that I'm "really hot." Then he offers to get me more food if I was still hungry. I passed. He then said that he was going to go talk to the table of girls sitting behind him. I took that moment to tell him I had to go so I could get some sleep. He then pleaded with me to stay.
I left.
I swear, I don't understand why this kind of stuff always happens to me. First off, why won't people just leave me alone? When I'm sitting by myself, looking at nothing in particular, I don't think I'm giving off a vibe that says "come talk to me." In fact, 99% of the time I'd prefer to just be left alone. And second off, if by chance someone did decide to come and strike up a conversation with me, why can't it just be a normal conversation? Why does it always have to be a conversation about all the things that are going wrong in their life? Or some something that I'm not interested in at all? I just don't get it.
On a positive note, since crazies constantly seek me out, I guess it's a good thing that I'm planning on being a psychologist. I'll never run out of clients.
Anyways, moving on...
Part 2
Last week my grandmother fell and broke her femur. After getting out of the hospital, we had her move into a nursing home since they had the 24 hour care that she needs at the moment. (Thankfully she seems to be doing rather well.)
Well, my grandfather's not able to move into the home with her (at the moment anyways). So, my parents have been taking my grandpa back and forth from the nursing home to their house.
I feel really bad for my grandpa. He and my grandma have been married for 67 years now, and it's tearing him up not being with her. Any time he's not at the nursing home with my grandma, he's asking someone to take him up to see her, or he'll flat out state that he wants to go see "mama."
One night my dad walked downstairs because he heard my grandpa talking. He thought his dad was just talking to himself, but then realized that he was praying. My grandpa was telling God about how much he misses my grandma, and how he hopes she'll heal quickly, and asking to be reunited with her.
This desire of his is what inspired my thoughts on this issue, and is the reason for making this post.
I have mentioned before that I do not understand love. To some degree I do... for instance, I love my family and I'd do anything for them that I could if/when needed. That I can understand. However, it's the romantic love that I don't get. I'm not really sure how to explain my thoughts here... perhaps this love is something you must experience before you can actually comprehend what it is. I don't feel like I'm actually expressing what I'm meaning to say on this so I'm just going to move on.
This love and desire of union brought my thoughts to a question. As I mentioned, my grandparents have been married for 67 years now. In today's time, that's extremely rare. It seems like most marriages now days only last a few years... if even that long.
Years from now, when those in my generation reach the age of my grandfather, it seems most will not have this type of love or desire to be with a particular person. Whereas my grandfather will sit and tell anyone who will listen that all he wants to do is be in the same room with my grandmother, will those of my generation be sitting around telling anyone who will listen that we have all made a huge mistake? Will it take 50 years for us to come to our senses, and to realize that we have no one to share our last years of life with?
I hope and pray that if I do ever find someone to love, and she and I make the commitment of marriage, that we will stick with it... for better or worse... 'til death do us part. When I'm old, I'd rather have the desire to be with the one I love than wishing I hadn't given up on a relationship that could've been rescued had she and I only been willing to put forth the effort to keep it alive.
Part 1
As I was about to decide to go to bed, the urge to actually eat something overpowered my drowsiness, so I decided to put off sleeping and go fill my belly with nutrients (not that Taco Bell is really nutritious).
Before I go any further, I believe a bit of background is necessary for full understanding of this situation.
For a really long time I have had "crazy" people randomly come up to me and either tell me their life problems, or request some favor of me. For example, I once had a manager at a CiCi's pizza place tell me of his marital problems... how he can't stand his wife, how he wants to leave her, and other such things. Another example would be the time some random woman at a Wal-Mart asked me for a ride home. I told her that I wasn't leaving any time soon... assuming that she'd give up on me and ask other people. However, she waited 45 minutes for me, then followed me on my way out. At this point, I decided to be nice (surprise surprise) so I agreed to take her home. However, instead of giving me directions to her house she had me drive all over the town, making random stops for a phone call here, or to ask someone for money there. After this went on for a few minutes I realized that the woman was waiting for her drug dealer to get back to his apartment so she could make her purchase. Since he was unreachable to her, she then asked me to take her back to Wal-Mart so she could get something. (It's been so long now that I don't fully remember what she needed back at Wal-Mart.) She did request that I wait for her... I did not. Once she got out of my car I left.
Anyways, I could go on and on about that stuff, but there's no need. I just mention this kind of stuff so you can get a better feel for what happened to me tonight.
After getting my food from Toxic Hell... I mean Taco Bell and eating almost all of it, some guy who works there (off the clock at this point) came and sat down at my table with me. From the smell of his breath I could tell that he had been drinking, so rather than asking him to leave and possibly starting a scene, I decided to just finish my last few bites and be on my way.
When will I learn?
This guy starts telling me about an issue he just had with his roommate, about how his roommate always goes into defensive mode no matter what he says to him, bla bla bla. He then tells me that he's looking for some drugs to get his mind off the situation "at home." *sigh* Then he tells me about how he's queer (his words) and that it seems to be a problem for his roommate.
By this point my food's gone, and I'm ready to leave to get back to my apartment.
Then, out of nowhere, this dude tells me that I'm hot. Totally took me off guard. I had to ask him to repeat himself because I was sure I heard incorrectly. Unfortunately, I did not.
So now that I was extremely uncomfortable I started looking a way out of the place. He continued to talk to me about other stuff, and just before I get up to leave he then stated again that I'm "really hot." Then he offers to get me more food if I was still hungry. I passed. He then said that he was going to go talk to the table of girls sitting behind him. I took that moment to tell him I had to go so I could get some sleep. He then pleaded with me to stay.
I left.
I swear, I don't understand why this kind of stuff always happens to me. First off, why won't people just leave me alone? When I'm sitting by myself, looking at nothing in particular, I don't think I'm giving off a vibe that says "come talk to me." In fact, 99% of the time I'd prefer to just be left alone. And second off, if by chance someone did decide to come and strike up a conversation with me, why can't it just be a normal conversation? Why does it always have to be a conversation about all the things that are going wrong in their life? Or some something that I'm not interested in at all? I just don't get it.
On a positive note, since crazies constantly seek me out, I guess it's a good thing that I'm planning on being a psychologist. I'll never run out of clients.
Anyways, moving on...
Part 2
Last week my grandmother fell and broke her femur. After getting out of the hospital, we had her move into a nursing home since they had the 24 hour care that she needs at the moment. (Thankfully she seems to be doing rather well.)
Well, my grandfather's not able to move into the home with her (at the moment anyways). So, my parents have been taking my grandpa back and forth from the nursing home to their house.
I feel really bad for my grandpa. He and my grandma have been married for 67 years now, and it's tearing him up not being with her. Any time he's not at the nursing home with my grandma, he's asking someone to take him up to see her, or he'll flat out state that he wants to go see "mama."
One night my dad walked downstairs because he heard my grandpa talking. He thought his dad was just talking to himself, but then realized that he was praying. My grandpa was telling God about how much he misses my grandma, and how he hopes she'll heal quickly, and asking to be reunited with her.
This desire of his is what inspired my thoughts on this issue, and is the reason for making this post.
I have mentioned before that I do not understand love. To some degree I do... for instance, I love my family and I'd do anything for them that I could if/when needed. That I can understand. However, it's the romantic love that I don't get. I'm not really sure how to explain my thoughts here... perhaps this love is something you must experience before you can actually comprehend what it is. I don't feel like I'm actually expressing what I'm meaning to say on this so I'm just going to move on.
This love and desire of union brought my thoughts to a question. As I mentioned, my grandparents have been married for 67 years now. In today's time, that's extremely rare. It seems like most marriages now days only last a few years... if even that long.
Years from now, when those in my generation reach the age of my grandfather, it seems most will not have this type of love or desire to be with a particular person. Whereas my grandfather will sit and tell anyone who will listen that all he wants to do is be in the same room with my grandmother, will those of my generation be sitting around telling anyone who will listen that we have all made a huge mistake? Will it take 50 years for us to come to our senses, and to realize that we have no one to share our last years of life with?
I hope and pray that if I do ever find someone to love, and she and I make the commitment of marriage, that we will stick with it... for better or worse... 'til death do us part. When I'm old, I'd rather have the desire to be with the one I love than wishing I hadn't given up on a relationship that could've been rescued had she and I only been willing to put forth the effort to keep it alive.
posted by Nathan | 23:52
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