Ring... shopping?
Andy and I were talking earlier today. He told me about this guy who proposed to his girlfriend, and her answer wasn't, no, yes, or maybe... instead... she looked at him and said "I'll marry you if you'll buy me a better ring."Granted, this doesn't happen all that often... but the concept of "ring shopping" happens all the time. I've heard many couples talk about going to the jewelry store to pick out her new engagement ring.
WTF?
I don't know when this concept started... but I do not like it at all. First off... it's a gift. What gives the girl the right to pick this out? Isn't it enough that the guy is about to spend a ton of money on a ring for her? Why can't she just be happy with whatever ring he chooses to buy for her?
The idea of her picking out her engagement ring completely blows my mind. I mean... the guy doesn't help her pick out her wedding dress... why should she be allowed to help pick out her gift?
I hope my future wife (assuming I'll eventually get married) doesn't think she's going to tag along with me to the jewelry store when I go to buy her ring... because she'll be disapointed.
I find the women's expectation of picking out her own engagement ring to be extremely ungrateful. Be happy that's he's willing to spend anywhere from several hundred to $3000+ on you.
posted by Nathan | 22:10
10 Comments:
Well, as far as picking out a diamond, it's tradition. In the past, a man would pay the bride's father a dowry so the father would permit the groom to marry his daughter. In most modern cultures now, the dowry has been replaced with the diamond engagement ring that's given to the bride rather than her father.
As far as letting the bride go with the groom to pick the ring, you have to consider what she likes. If I bought you (Nathan) a shirt that you hated, you'd probably exchange it for one you liked right? Of course, we all would. When I was shopping for rings, I took Wanda to the jewelry store and said, show me what you like. Once we did that, I knew what she liked so I have a point of reference from which to start shopping.
Now, if I had asked her to marry me and she said "only if you buy me a better ring", I'd have told her to kiss my ass and take a hike, then I'd have returned the ring and been thankful I didn't marry a superficial gold digger. As it is, she said yes happily, destroyed the ring in the garbage disposal, we got another one (thank God for extended warantees :)) and now we're happily married.
I don't know... getting her to go shopping for her own ring kind of takes the whole surprise away.
My future wife is going to have to be happy with what I get her... because I will not be inviting her along for the purchase. If she doesn't like it... she can buy her own ring.
Sprucing up the place, eh, Nathan? I like the red silk! Now you just need some Isaac Hayes playing in the background....
Amanda,
Nathan's behind the times..remember my August 3rd Post on my blog.
For those who haven't seen it, head on over and get caught up on the history of the diamond engagement ring. I thing the entire concept is a bunch of hooey.
If a man and woman want to get married there is no sound logic of why a ring is needed to "seal the deal".
And if she is coveting the ring, I'd say that is indeed a sin.
Nathan-
I think I know the answer to this, but did you write this post about me? Because that's not what actually happened. I just wanted to check.
Hey Laura,
No, this post was not inspired by you. :)
It's just something that's always bugged me... and when Andy told me the story of that guy... it just made me want to post about it.
Wait... you didn't help Andy pick out your ring... how could this post have been about you?
You should talk to Andy about that. Thanks for clarifying; I am now happy and I can fully enjoy my grad school homework.
as Laura said long ago and I might misquote it
"when you fall madly in love you'll understand"
unfortunately...love seems to often to be a never ending one way street with a "do not enter" sign right where I want to turn.
I'm not bitter....just very grizzled.
I suggest getting all our single friends to put some funds into a high interest account and the last one left single get's it all.
Ed said:
"I suggest getting all our single friends to put some funds into a high interest account and the last one left single get's it all."
Hahaha... I'm in! :)
Point of fact: dowry usually refers to a gift given to the groom by the family of the bride.
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