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Ok... I swear... my trainer is trying to kill me.

First... she had me lifting weights until my arms felt as if they were going to fall off.

Today... she had me doing stuff on my legs. Once I was finished... I was walking like I had two gimp legs.

But seriously... this is cool. I'm so glad that I'm actually able to start getting back into shape.

My trainer said that if I continue to strengthen the muscles in my legs that she has me working on... I should be able to run again.

So... this is good news.

In other news, I took my last math test (excluding the final) today. I think I got a 104... but I won't be sure until I get the test back on either Tue. or Thur. of next week.
Near the end of the test, someone asked if he was going to give a curve. He said he'd see how everyone did. I really hope I didn't just destroy the curve for everyone... that would be bad.

I know I got the bonus question correct... because I asked the professor about it as I turned it in.

So... if I got the rest of the right... I'll have a 104. That would be cool... because it would take my 94 and bump it up to a 98.

Anyways... I've got to go eat something. And I've got to start keeping track of what I eat and when I eat it... otherwise my trainer's going to get mad at me again. :) (Ok... so she wasn't really mad at me.)

BEWARE! Supernatural-Evil Birds!

WARNING!

There have been sightings of a Supernatural-Evil Bird!

Oh sure, at first glance this little bird may look cute... but this wretched creature has spawned from the depths of Hell! It has been reported that this bird can open doors, peck holes in doors, fly into doors so hard that it cracks them, and he can easily slide underneath the crack at the bottom of the door.

This bird is so evil that if you get to close to him, he may peck a hole in your hand. If this happens, you will then mutate into one of his evil minions.

If you see this bird, do not attempt to capture it... for there are no mortal tools that can be used to apprehend this formidable foe.

However, this Supernatural-Evil Bird is known to have one weakness.

Its weakness is none other than an ordinary household broom.

Therefore, if you are unfortunate enough to come across this bird, grab the nearest broom and slowly move it back and forth. This will hypnotize the bird. Once hypnotized, you can then use the broom like a hockey stick and sling the bird across the room. This should knock him out. At this point all you need to do is sweep him outside and close the door. He should then be too terrified to re-enter your humble abode.

Beware! And be safe!
Keep your eyes open and a broom close by.

YAY!!!

My research paper is complete!

You know what this means?

It means no more Edgar Allan Poe!!!

Well... not only that, but it means my stress level just dropped drastically.
Now I've only got to worry about 2 more speeches, 3 more tests, then finals.

I cannot express how desperately I want this semester to hurry and come to an end. However, I know that no matter how badly I want it to hurry... it's going to go by at God's pace. Therefore, I'll continue to live life one day at a time.

In other news...
I went to the gym again today. I swear... my trainer's trying to kill me. I couldn't complete everything that I was supposed to do because my muscles started giving out. You know what that means? It means that tomorrow... my arms/shoulders/back/legs/etc... are going to hate me. And they'll let me know just how much they hate me.
Oh well... that's what water's for.

I'm really excited about getting back into shape. I'm tired of not being able to do some of the things I used to be able to do. So... I must be sure to continue going to the gym on a daily basis... even if I'm unable to complete everything I'm supposed to do... I can at least do my cardio work. That's better than nothing.
Maybe... just maybe... one day I'll be able to run again. I'm not so sure that my knee is up to that challenge any time soon... but I'm patient. Hopefully these leg muscle exercises will strengthen the muscles surrounding my knees so that I can run again. I really miss doing that... as strange as that sounds. I used to hate running... but... when you're physically incapable of doing something that you used to have no problems doing... it makes you want to be able to do it again.

Anyways... I need to read and write a short paper that's due tomorrow.

Yay! More papers. :)

At least this one won't be bad. I actually like writing papers... so long as it's not a literature analysis.

Thanks for reading.

I Hate Drugs...

Bob Saget!

Why did I take the Vicodin? Why don't drugs work on my like they're supposed to?

My body was in much pain throughout most of the day... so several hours ago I thought I'd take 1 1/2 of my Extra Strength Vicodins to ease the pain of my muscles/joints.

However, when I took these, I wasn't thinking about what these pills do to me.

Yes, they took away a little bit of the pain... I mean... I'm actually able to move my arms a lot better than I could before hand... but a lot of the pain is still here.

Furthermore, these pills do not allow me to sleep.

Oh yeah... and someone's been steeling my pills. I had about 10 left the last time I went to take one. Then I looked in the bottle again to see how many I had left... which was about 7... then tonight when I opened the bottle, I had 5 left. And I know I haven't taken any of these in a while. I have an idea of who took them... but I'm not 100% sure. I'm going to confront him about it tomorrow.

I'm extremely tired... but I am unable to fall asleep.

It is now 4:45 in the a.m. Which means that once I do fall asleep, I will not be able to wake up in time for church. And if I do wake up, I will not be able to stay awake throughout the service... which means either way I'm going to miss the service tomorrow. This upsets me... I hate missing church.

Also, this means that I will most likely sleep away most of my day... which is not good. I really need to spend most of the day tomorrow finishing up my research paper. It's due Monday.

I will be so thankful once this semester is over.

On that note... I've been thinking a lot about moving back to Austin. Each day that passes I'm more and more ready to move back home. For many reasons.

I'm definitely looking forward to taking a short break from school. Furthermore, I'm looking forward to taking a break from College Station. Many things have changed over the past years here... and I'm not really liking most of the changes. I love my friends here... and I'm going to be a bit sad about leaving them... but... I don't know. There's a mixture of things that are drawing me away from here.

I have a feeling that God is working a lot in my life right now. I mean... He's always working in my life... but I feel like there's a whole ton of new lessons on their way. This excites me... but frightens me at the same time. Most of the lessons I've learned have come at a pretty high price, and I'm not so sure I'm ready to learn any more lessons at the moment. Then again... I'm totally wrong on that. If God's teaching me... or about to start teaching me something... then I am ready. Otherwise He would not have me learn anything until I was/am ready.

Ahh! I wish I was better at expressing what's going on in my head. Sometimes I do a decent job of doing so... other times... I can't seem to get out what's going on up there. And I think this is one of those times. I'm not so sure any of this post is making any sense.

Anyways, I'm going to try to make myself tired... well... tired enough to actually go to sleep.

It's late... and I'm tired

I have almost completed my speech. I have to present it tomorrow at 1:25 in the p.m. It's on Smoking Bans and how I disagree with them. It should spark some good conversation. I just wanted to take another break to give an update.

Well, I realized that I completely forgot to make any mention of this past weekend.
It was awesome. :)
I won't go into much detail... I just wanted to let everyone know that it was great. :)

And I also want to thank those of you who have been praying for me. God sent me someone whom I was able to talk to tonight. He was having some issues of his own... so we talked about them for a while. Then he asked about what was going on in my life... and he listened. It was great. No un-needed words... he just listened and was supportive.

Of course, I would be grateful if you would keep me in your prayers while I try and figure out the next step (or few steps) of my life. I have many important things on my mind that I must figure out... and figure out soon. So, pray that God will give me wisdom in my future actions/decisions and for a peace of mind so I can think straight. Also, please pray that God will send me a job that I can start as soon as I move back to Austin.

In other news, I'm definitely ready to see this semester come to an end. 5 classes in one semester is almost too much for my brain to handle.

Actually... this is one of the many reasons I'm looking forward to moving back to Austin. I need a break from school. Don't get me wrong... I definitely want to finish getting my degree... I just need a break. At first I was upset that my education was being put on the backburners once again... but now... it's not that big of a deal. At least not at the moment.

Ok... now I must go and wrap up my speech.

Better

Ok, I'm feeling much better now than I was earlier today.

I think the fact that I was able to sleep from 4:30 in the p.m. until ten after 9 in the p.m. helped out a lot. Plus the fact that it does actually look like I'll be getting my associate's degree at the end of the summer helps out as well.

The latter is nice because that's one less thing I have to "worry" about.
And the sleep was nice... I'm about to go back to bed. I woke up only to eat... and I got to eat with Alan and Ed... so that was good. We had IHOP... which none of us had eaten at in quite some time.

And now... I'm going back to bed because I have a ton of research that must be completed by tomorrow night. (well... technically tomorrow by 1:25 in the p.m.)

Life...

Sorry if this post makes me sound like a Negative Nancy...

Well... as most everyone knows by now I was not accepted into A&M. Therefore I will be living in Austin again after the summer.

During the summer I'm intending on taking the last 3 classes I need to get my associate's degree. However, this is proving to be a bit problematic.
You see... we were supposed to be able to register at midnight this morning. As you'll see in a moment... that was almost enough frustration to get me to crack.

From midnight up until about 3 in the a.m. I was attempting to register. The problem was/is... so is everyone else. Therefore, the server was overloaded... and still is.

This little bit of frustration... compacted with all the other various things on my mind almost had me in tears. However, I'm not going to get into all of that... because... well... I don't want to talk about it.

Another problem is... there's many things I need to talk about... but the people I try to talk to about these issues are not supportive of me at all. It's extremely difficult to feel the need to talk about something and having almost no one willing to listen. Right now... the things my friends are telling me is not helpful. I don't mean that they're telling me things I don't want to hear... because that's definitely not the case. What they're telling me are things that are not beneficial to me in the least. Actually... I wish a lot of the people I talk to about these things would just be quiet and let me talk rather than tell me I'm an idiot and things of the like. And again... I'm not going into that any further.

Sorry if this post sounds like I'm in a bad mood... that's not the case. I'm freaking tired. I haven't slept yet. As soon as I find out if I'm able to register or not I'm going to take a nap. My next class starts in a little over two hours... so I'm going to sleep in the hallway again. Once I get home... I'll probably go back to sleep... although I really shouldn't. I've got so much school work to do... but... I'm so tired that I think my brain is beginning to turn to mush. So... I can't really work with a shut-down brain.

I wish life had a pause button. That way I could just hit pause... sleep... figure out all the things I need to figure out... then resume life. That would be awesome... however... there is no pause button on life... so there's really no need to think on such things.

For anyone who reads this... I would like to ask you to pray that God will give me peace so I can think properly. Also that God will give me wisdom in the decisions I'm going to be making in the near future. And that God will send someone with whom I can talk to about these things I want to get off my chest who won't be condescending and who will actually give me good advice. (I don't mean to say that those of you who have given me advice have been doing a bad job... it's just I haven't talked to 99.9% of ya'll about some of these things. )

I hate to admit this... but I'm actually a bit freaked out about some of these decisions. I had this great and wonderful plan as to what I was going to be doing for the next few years of my life. However... God has a much better plan and is now showing me that my plan isn't going to be working the way I was intending it to.
The reason I'm freaked is because I had built a comfortable bubble and that bubble has just been popped. There's so many new ideas and possibilities that have all presented themselves all at the same time. I have no idea how to deal with a lot of these... and to be honest... a lot of these are a bit scary. In a way I'd like to go back to my bubble... but... that's not an option... nor do I really want to go back to the bubble. I've been sitting there for much to long and it's about time I get out.

Ok... now class starts in exaclty 2 hours. Must... get... sleep.

But not yet. I'm still waiting to find out if this is going to let me register or not.
Plus... I'm sure there's still more I want to say.

Problem is... I'm just rambling because I don't know exactly what I want to say. I know I want to say stuff... I just either don't know what or don't know how to do so.

Way off topic here... after submitting messages on Myspace... I'm getting really tired of those stupid ads with the girls in their slut-suits... oops... typo. I mean "bathing suits".

Anyways... it looks like I'm going to be able to register soon. I've gotten further on the process that I have all night. I'm actually able to search for classes now. Thankfully I've only got to find 2 for this first summer session.

I really wish my sister was in town. I miss her. I could really go for another all night conversation with her. Poor girl... back in high school I used to keep her awake all night... and once she'd start to doze off... I'd wake her up so we could continue talking. :) That's ok though... she liked it.

Wednesday's going to be a long day. I have class at 10 in the a.m. Then I'm meeting with my trainer at the gym at 12 in the p.m. Then I have to give a speech at 1:25 in the p.m. Then class at 2:50 in the p.m. Then I'm talking with my pastor around 4 in the p.m. I'm not sure how long that's going to last... hopefully a while. Then I have RUF at 7 in the p.m. Then I've got more homework.

Ok... it looks like the English class I needed for the summer isn't available... at least not during the 1st summer session. I don't know about the 2nd. I'll have to go ask later. As for now... I'm going to have to register for an English class that's much more difficult than the one I wanted to take. *sigh* Such is life.
Oh wait! This might be good. The technical writing course's professor... I've had him before for another English class and I really liked him. Hopefully he'll be just as good teaching this subject as he was at the other.
Ok... one class is registered for... now we'll try for the next.
Class starts in 1.5 hours.

Ok... this post is getting long. :)

I guess I'll stop typing until I am finished registering... unless something hits me that I must write down.

Ok... I got the math class.

So... summer session 1 is:
Math - Mon, Tue, Wed, Thur, and every other Friday @ 11:40 in the a.m. until 1:35 in the p.m.
and
Tech. Writing - Mon, Tue, Wed, Thur, and every other Friday @ 1:45 in the p.m. until 3:40 in the p.m.
That's a grande total of just under $500! Yay for tuition! (and yes... I know that this is much lower than a 4 year college's tuition)

YAY!!! NAP TIME!!! 1 hour! (hey... it's better than nothing, right?)

Weird...

First off... I must say that today turned out to be a great day. :)

Also, when I returned home, Dubeee was so happy to see me. :) I've missed her.

Ok... now to the reason for this post.... this is really really weird.


Last night I had a dream that I had to go back to boot camp. However, this time my friend Jared was with me and so was someone else I know, but I can't remember who it was.

Anyways... while talking to Jared in my dream I mentioned something and then I immediately awoke.

At this point I had an entire load of memories flooding through my mind. The problem is... I don't think these memories are true memories. What's really weird about this... is that I actually think that they might be true.

For instance, one of these memories was that about a year before I was discharged from the Marine Corps I was sent home. Then I remember being home for about a week or so when my GySgt called me up and told me to come back. And from there I stayed for another year or so. I really doubt this ever happened... but I can remember it so vividly that I have a hard time believing that this never happened.
Also, I remember driving down several roads in Austin... that don't exist.
Now... these memories weren't part of the dream I had last night. Maybe they're past dreams or something... but they just feel so real.

So... tomorrow I'm going to ask my parents about this... because if they remember it happening, then I'll know it really did happen.

Problem is... if this memory is real... then how in the world did I forget about it until this morning?

Furthermore, a few weeks ago... just before I fell asleep... I had a quick vision of various things. I have no idea what the vision was... but it felt as if I had a quick flash of memories that I have completely forgotten about.

So now I'm asking myself if someone messed with my mind (like in the movie "Conspiracy Theory").

Anyways... I hope I can figure all of this out... because it's kind of weirding me out. :)

Ahh... the mind. It's such a mysterious place.

Homework / Rant

Alas.

I am sitting here in the computer lab continuing my work for one of my research projects due Wednesday (the 19th).

I am so sick and tired of this semester. Actually... I'm just sick and tired of this English class. My other classes do not vex me so.

I am writing a paper on the portrayal of guilt seen in some of Poe's writings through the first person narrative. What fun.

I really like Poe... but... once this paper is finished... I don't think I'll be reading any of his stuff for quite some time.

I really dislike analyzing literature. I do not see what purpose it serves... nor do I understand how it will benefit me later in life.
Seriously... when I read a book... I either like it or I don't. I'm not going to sit down with pen, paper, and a highlighter to try and figure out the "deeper meaning" of the story. If an author isn't good enough to get his/her point across without the writing needing to be analyzed... then, in my opinion, they're a piss-poor author.

Anyways... I've been here in the lab since about 11 or so in the p.m. ... maybe earlier. It's now 3:30 in the a.m. and it looks like I'll be here until about 6 in the a.m. Oh joy!

*sigh*

Have I mentioned that I'm ready for this semester to end?

In other news...
This summer I'll be taking 2 math classes and a creative writing course. (so long as these are offered over the summer... if they're not... I'm not sure what I'll do.)
1st summer session will be the more basic of the math courses and the creative writing course. 2nd summer session will consist of the more advanced of the math courses.
Once these three courses are complete... I will have my associate’s degree in philosophy. I'm really hoping that this degree (even though it's not a bachelor degree) will help me find a job once I move back home.

My mind has been all over the place for a while now. I've prayed many times for God to remind me that He's in control over everything... which helps me not to worry about the unknown. The funny thing is... I'm not typically a worrier. However, as of late I've been noticing myself worrying about various things. I think this is because there are more things in motion (or will be soon) than I am used to dealing with all at once.
I thank God for giving me the gift of patience. If I were not a patient person, I do not know how I would be handling all of these things right now. I think my mind would probably explode.

Ok... I've got a bit off my mind. I must now go and hopefully finish my work soon... because bed is starting to sound really good right about now.

Well.... shit.

I made my kill...

However... my new target got word that I was hanging out at my house with some friends. He came in through the back door about an hour after I shot Gabe... so... now... I'm dead.

Game over for me.

I let my guard down.

He was on his way to Houston... but once he received the call that I shot Gabe, he turned around and got me.

It was fun while it lasted.

I should've known better. I should've followed my instincts and just went back over to Mike's house. But no... I decided to stay and visit with some of the people I haven't seen in so long. And because of that... I'm dead.


Well... now that I'm done with Assassins... I shall update this info for those of you who have not heard yet.

I received a letter from A&M the other day. I did not get accepted.

So... my plans for now is to move back to Austin and find a job... at least for the fall. I will re-apply to A&M... however, this time I will also apply to UT and to SWT (I mean Texas State). I'm not really disappointed by this. One thing I've learned over the years is that God puts us in different situations for different reasons. So... I could've been here in College Station to learn something... or to teach something... or to help someone through something. However, it appears that my time here in College Station is complete for the time being. I'm now continuing my journey in life to the next place God leads me.

I'm not sure why I'm being led back to Austin... but... as always... God knows what He's doing.

I'm actually quite glad I'll be back in Austin... but... yeah.

Anyways... I'm going to go finish talking with my friends before they go back to where they came from.

I hope all of you had a good night.

I got my kill!

I just killed my first target.

Gabe was sitting in his living room playing games with some girls. Unfortunately for him, he left all of his windows open. So... I squirted him through the screen. :)

I have one more week now to make my next kill.

I really hope I win this game.

How Deep The Father's Love...

Every time I try to sing this song I get choked up.
Especially at this part:

"Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished"


God is so amazing. I do not deserve salvation... much less the love of our Creator. However, God, through His grace and mercy has shown me love and through Christ's blood I am made new.

Praise be to God!

The game is still going...

Ok... so the game started Monday at 7 in the a.m.
As of right now, there has been 6 kills... all which have been made by girls.
Needless to say... the guys need to start playing. However... if the other guys are playing like I am... they're strateegerizing. I have a good idea of when I'm going to go after my target... but of course... I'm not going to post that on here in case someone who's playing reads this.

I've found out all kinds of cool stuff... where my target lives... my target's schedule... where my target works... and some routine habbits. I just have to be sure to make my kill before Monday at 7 in the a.m. otherwise I'll be disqualified.

Not having the internet has sucked. Oh well... I got to do what I got to do.

Ok... time to do some other stuff.

I'll keep you guys updated as often as possible.

I've decided....

I have been thinking seriously about this for a while... however I haven't really said anything about it to most of you. As soon as this semester is over I'm going to move to Kenya for at least 6 months.

One of my really good Marine Corps buddies called me up a few months ago and informed me of a great business opportunity. Well... it's not really a business... however... we should get some really good money from this.

The cool thing is, my buddy is paying for the plane ride over to Kenya. From there we will go to our destination and begin working. I'm really excited for many reasons.

First, I haven't seen this guy in over 4 years. He is a guy who I trust my life with.
Second, if what he says is in fact true... I may not ever have to worry about money issues ever again.
Third, I will finally be temporarily leaving this country... which is something I've been wanting to do for quite some time now.

I wish I could go into more detail about this... but since my friend asked me not to reveal too much I shall refrain from doing so.
However... we should be in the news for our find sooner or later. I'll email everyone and let them know the time and date to watch the news.

AHH!!! I'm so excited about this.

Ok... sleep.