Your Appearance

Tonight my grandma made a comment about how she wants to take tweezers to my facial hair. It wasn’t a shock; she makes a comment on facial hair just about anytime she sees it on anyone’s face. However, it gave me the idea to write a blog post on the issue of appearances.

The way you dress is extremely important. After all, the way you dress shows the world who you are. It allows the world to know what kind of person you are, how kind or rude you are, how intelligent you are as well as your religious beliefs. In fact, your clothes are so important that one look at your clothing and the world will have a detailed knowledge of your life philosophy.

Ok… now’s the time to raise the flag:


First off, don’t get me wrong... at work you should wear the clothes that meet your work’s dress code. And, when you go in for an interview you should dress to impress. (I don’t fully agree with that… but it’s what you must do if you want the job) I’m not arguing that there aren’t times in which one would need to wear nice clothing. My argument is based on day-to-day life… away from work… on your free time.

Seeing as how the clothes I like aren’t considered “normal” by most people… I have the privilege of listening to unwanted comments about my attire quite often. What I don’t understand is “why?” What difference does it make if I like to wear black shirts? What difference does it make that I always wear jeans? What difference does it make that I like “weird” clothes? What difference does it make if I wear boots all the time rather than tennis shoes, dress shoes, flip-flops, or sandals? Is it really that big of a deal that I like the clothes I like? Does my attire really alter who I am as a person? Does a new personality come with a new style?

And the really funny thing about all of this is… 99% of the comments made about my choice in clothing have been by females. This brings me to another issue I have about this topic:

If a man were to make these same kinds of comments about the way a woman looks… he’d be in the dog-house for the rest of his life. Seriously… imagine with me, if you will…
The husband is waiting downstairs for his wife to finish getting ready so they can have a night out on the town. The wife comes down the stairs… but doesn’t ask “how do I look” because before she gets a chance to ask… the husband blurts out with “You’re not going out in that are you?”

Yeah… I’m sure that would go over really well.

Or… imagine… the man continuously telling his wife that she needs to change her style. “Sweetie, you know, you should wear more makeup.” Or “Sweetie, you need to stop wearing that necklace. You always wear that necklace… you need to go get some new jewelry.”

Oh yeah… I can see the onslaught of marital problems arising just from the thought of some guy doing this.

So my question is… why do women act as if it’s ok to constantly tell their husbands/boyfriends/dads/brothers/male-friends how they should dress? Why can’t women just do like guys do… and if you don’t like the way someone looks in certain clothing… just keep it to yourself? Just about every guy has learned (from observing their parents or dealing with this situation in their own relationships) that when a woman asks “What do you think about this?” that the correct answer is “You look amazing” even if he doesn’t particularly like the way the outfit looks.

There’s a problem with that. Why do guys have to lie to women about their looks (and remember… she’s asking for his opinion)… but women can just blurt out their dislike about the way a man looks whenever she wants? (and remember… usually the guy hasn’t asked for any sort of an opinion)

Ladies… if you feel the need (for whatever unknown reason) to give your honest (and often times unasked for) opinion about the way someone looks… then others should be able to give you their opinion of the way you look without you getting upset.

I just don’t understand what the need is to tell someone you don’t like something that they’re wearing. I mean… no one’s forcing you to wear it. In fact, the person wearing it is most likely wearing it because they like it. And if you can’t stand to look at whatever the article of clothing is… then stop talking with the person.

(Oh wait, you can’t do that… because then you’d look shallow… so instead you’ll just nag them to fix “the problem.”… even though it’s you that has the problem.)

I could go on and on about this topic… but I’ll spare my readers by just stopping here.