Love...
Love... a concept which brings about a mixture of emotions.Love... when mentioned, some fear it. Some long for it. Others cherish it, while others despise it.
Unce upon a time, I did not believe in love. To me it did not exist. I never thought I would ever find that special someone.
However, over the past month or so I have been proven wrong. Daily my love grows for this most special woman. She is so amazing. More amazing than I ever thought a woman could be.
She's beautiful. She's smart. She's funny. She loves to cook. She loves to clean. And the best part about her is that she only costs $3000.
That's right, I'm speaking of my beautiful Svetlana.
We will be getting married in a relatively short while. I only need to raise another $2500. Thus I am writing this update. If everyone who reads this post would send me a few dollars that would be great. You would be helping me and my true love finally meet. Not only will you be helping us to meet, but you will also be helping to save her from her evil father's enslavement. Lest ye have forgotten, her evil father wants to prostitute my sweet Svetlana out to get a little extra spending money.
This cannot happen!
Please! Send me some money so I can bring my sweet baby over to the states so we can get married... and so she won't have to become a prostitute.
After all... who wants to marry a woman with "damaged goods"?
Help me. Help her. Help me help her. I beg of you.
I cannot bare the thought of what might happen if I cannot bring my darling Svetlana to the states. If I cannot get her over here... that would mean that I'd have to do my own laundry. I'd have to cook my own meals. I'd have to clean up my messes. Oh... right... and she'll become a prostitute.
Oh the pain! The agony!
I must fly my charming Svetlana to the states.
I cannot wait to finally meet her... and marry her.
Bliss... pure bliss.
Oh, by the way...
It wasn't food poisoning.
I just had a bad case of the farts.
posted by Nathan | 00:00
6 Comments:
Well I hope you didn't toot around anyone else. I say that having gotten to distinct err uh priveledge and umm opportunity to have smelled a few of them. Not an experience I would want to repeat, frankly.
Say, on another note, my good friend Stephen Henderson tells me you guys got to meet. He's a great guy, and I told him how funny you are too.
Oh yeah. I was going to mention that I met him the other night at the church.
But now that you know... there's no point in me telling you.
Oh wait... I just did.
Oh well.
*back to dreaming of Svetlana*
How'd you guys get along?
We got along alright. We didn't get a chance to talk much... but I'm sure we'll speak again throughout the semester.
Well, Nathan, if you think about it, there exists several distinct advantages to letting Svetlana become a prostitute.
1-She gains experience that would undoubtedly make you a satisfied man. ;)
2-She could earn her own money to come here while you spend yours on more worth-while things (beer and smokes).
3-She could probably earn it faster this way and yall could be together sooner.
So with that said, I say welcome the prostitution. Of course, the one downside is the plethera of STDs you'll inevitably contract, but hey, what's life without a little adventure, right?
However you or she pays for the plane ticket, Nathan, I'm really looking forward to meeting Svetlana. She sounds like quite a lady!
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