ESCAPED SHNORKLICKLE!

I thought I should advise everyone that just a few moments ago a Shnorklickle escaped from a testing facility in the Austin area.

The Shnorklickle is a very dangerous beast. Its diet is comprised of clothing and rubber. This causes a problem because this foul beast will stop at nothing to get at your clothing. It will injure (and most likely kill) anyone wearing clothes. Scientists say that the only way to prevent the Shnorklickle from killing you to get at your clothes is to do your daily activities in the buff.

So, be sure to run around in your birthday suit until this monster can be recaptured.

I happened to see this little demon just a few minutes ago. It was attacking one of the trouble-makers that roam our neighborhood in the wee hours of the morning. Thankfully I was butt-ass naked at the time... otherwise I would've been the beast's next victim.

Why was I naked? Well... you see... what happened was... I had a few drinks... and I stepped in an ant bed. I noticed the ants all over me the moment they started to sting me. So... I stripped down. And not a moment too soon! It pains me to think that I could've been the escaped Shnorklickle's next meal.

Be careful where you go and what you do tomorrow... and be sure to run around naked. It's the only way to be safe.