Not So Comfortably Numb

Two Part Post

2008-12-03T23:52:00.000-08:00

This weekend, as I was observing my grandparents, I was inspired to write a post. However, I just went to go eat dinner (or get a midnight snack... depending on how you want to look at it) when something happened to me that needs to be blogged about as well. A part of me doesn't want to make the first part of this post because I fear that it may distract attention away from the second (and more important) part. But, since I think I'll be too distracted to write part two without first commenting on part one, I've decided that I'm going to write about it anyways.

Part 1
As I was about to decide to go to bed, the urge to actually eat something overpowered my drowsiness, so I decided to put off sleeping and go fill my belly with nutrients (not that Taco Bell is really nutritious).

Before I go any further, I believe a bit of background is necessary for full understanding of this situation.

For a really long time I have had "crazy" people randomly come up to me and either tell me their life problems, or request some favor of me. For example, I once had a manager at a CiCi's pizza place tell me of his marital problems... how he can't stand his wife, how he wants to leave her, and other such things. Another example would be the time some random woman at a Wal-Mart asked me for a ride home. I told her that I wasn't leaving any time soon... assuming that she'd give up on me and ask other people. However, she waited 45 minutes for me, then followed me on my way out. At this point, I decided to be nice (surprise surprise) so I agreed to take her home. However, instead of giving me directions to her house she had me drive all over the town, making random stops for a phone call here, or to ask someone for money there. After this went on for a few minutes I realized that the woman was waiting for her drug dealer to get back to his apartment so she could make her purchase. Since he was unreachable to her, she then asked me to take her back to Wal-Mart so she could get something. (It's been so long now that I don't fully remember what she needed back at Wal-Mart.) She did request that I wait for her... I did not. Once she got out of my car I left.

Anyways, I could go on and on about that stuff, but there's no need. I just mention this kind of stuff so you can get a better feel for what happened to me tonight.

After getting my food from Toxic Hell... I mean Taco Bell and eating almost all of it, some guy who works there (off the clock at this point) came and sat down at my table with me. From the smell of his breath I could tell that he had been drinking, so rather than asking him to leave and possibly starting a scene, I decided to just finish my last few bites and be on my way.

When will I learn?

This guy starts telling me about an issue he just had with his roommate, about how his roommate always goes into defensive mode no matter what he says to him, bla bla bla. He then tells me that he's looking for some drugs to get his mind off the situation "at home." *sigh* Then he tells me about how he's queer (his words) and that it seems to be a problem for his roommate.

By this point my food's gone, and I'm ready to leave to get back to my apartment.

Then, out of nowhere, this dude tells me that I'm hot. Totally took me off guard. I had to ask him to repeat himself because I was sure I heard incorrectly. Unfortunately, I did not.

So now that I was extremely uncomfortable I started looking a way out of the place. He continued to talk to me about other stuff, and just before I get up to leave he then stated again that I'm "really hot." Then he offers to get me more food if I was still hungry. I passed. He then said that he was going to go talk to the table of girls sitting behind him. I took that moment to tell him I had to go so I could get some sleep. He then pleaded with me to stay.

I left.

I swear, I don't understand why this kind of stuff always happens to me. First off, why won't people just leave me alone? When I'm sitting by myself, looking at nothing in particular, I don't think I'm giving off a vibe that says "come talk to me." In fact, 99% of the time I'd prefer to just be left alone. And second off, if by chance someone did decide to come and strike up a conversation with me, why can't it just be a normal conversation? Why does it always have to be a conversation about all the things that are going wrong in their life? Or some something that I'm not interested in at all? I just don't get it.

On a positive note, since crazies constantly seek me out, I guess it's a good thing that I'm planning on being a psychologist. I'll never run out of clients.

Anyways, moving on...

Part 2

Last week my grandmother fell and broke her femur. After getting out of the hospital, we had her move into a nursing home since they had the 24 hour care that she needs at the moment. (Thankfully she seems to be doing rather well.)

Well, my grandfather's not able to move into the home with her (at the moment anyways). So, my parents have been taking my grandpa back and forth from the nursing home to their house.

I feel really bad for my grandpa. He and my grandma have been married for 67 years now, and it's tearing him up not being with her. Any time he's not at the nursing home with my grandma, he's asking someone to take him up to see her, or he'll flat out state that he wants to go see "mama."

One night my dad walked downstairs because he heard my grandpa talking. He thought his dad was just talking to himself, but then realized that he was praying. My grandpa was telling God about how much he misses my grandma, and how he hopes she'll heal quickly, and asking to be reunited with her.

This desire of his is what inspired my thoughts on this issue, and is the reason for making this post.

I have mentioned before that I do not understand love. To some degree I do... for instance, I love my family and I'd do anything for them that I could if/when needed. That I can understand. However, it's the romantic love that I don't get. I'm not really sure how to explain my thoughts here... perhaps this love is something you must experience before you can actually comprehend what it is. I don't feel like I'm actually expressing what I'm meaning to say on this so I'm just going to move on.

This love and desire of union brought my thoughts to a question. As I mentioned, my grandparents have been married for 67 years now. In today's time, that's extremely rare. It seems like most marriages now days only last a few years... if even that long.

Years from now, when those in my generation reach the age of my grandfather, it seems most will not have this type of love or desire to be with a particular person. Whereas my grandfather will sit and tell anyone who will listen that all he wants to do is be in the same room with my grandmother, will those of my generation be sitting around telling anyone who will listen that we have all made a huge mistake? Will it take 50 years for us to come to our senses, and to realize that we have no one to share our last years of life with?

I hope and pray that if I do ever find someone to love, and she and I make the commitment of marriage, that we will stick with it... for better or worse... 'til death do us part. When I'm old, I'd rather have the desire to be with the one I love than wishing I hadn't given up on a relationship that could've been rescued had she and I only been willing to put forth the effort to keep it alive.

Calls from Vietnam

2008-10-23T00:21:00.000-07:00

I don't get it...

A while back I would regularly receive phone calls from Vietnam... always from the same number.

First I wasn't sure where the call was coming from since I'm not used to seeing a phone number that looks like "+123456789123." I knew that since it had 12 digits it was more than likely an international call. But that's not the only reason I didn't answer it.

First off, I'm not sure how international calls work. I don't know if they're like text messages... meaning I'm not sure if I'll be charged for the call even though I didn't make it much like those without a text messaging plan will be charged for received text messages. Second off, I rarely ever answer my phone when it's from a number I don't recognize.

The odd thing about this was that they were leaving voice mail messages. None of the messages were understandable to me. They all sounded like my number had been dialed by accident in a purse or a pocket. The voice was mumbled and there was a little bit of static.

After the first message I figured that it was a random, accidental call. However, this person kept calling back... and kept leaving messages... and the later messages weren't muffled nor did they contain any static. The lady sounded to be a little grandma lady or something... so then I figured she must not get many calls and must have accidentally hit the redial button.

But then, several weeks after that, I received another call from this person. I figured by this point that this wasn't an accident... but I was (and still am) completely baffled as to why this person continues to call me. My voicemail message is in English... this woman apparently does not speak a word of English but decides that I must be the person she's trying to contact and leaves messages anyways.

I think so far I've received at least 10 - 15 calls from this person.

Well...

It has been several months (maybe almost a year now) since I have heard from my Vietnamese Idiot. But tonight during my class my phone rang. I looked down and noticed that I was receiving an international call. But I was glad when I felt the vibration inform me that I had a voicemail message.

Since it has been so long since I have received an international call I had completely forgotten about this whole ordeal. So when I got back to my apartment I decided I'd try to figure out where this call was coming from.

I did a basic search of international calling codes and realized that this was a call from Vietnam. I'm not 100% sure that it's the same number as before, but what are the odds of two people in Vietnam randomly calling my number?

This time I went a bit further in my research and found that this call is coming from Hanoi. Not a huge help to me, but, whatever.

With all that being said, the phone number I receive is +841698534579

I'm not exactly sure how one would call this number (since I've never actually made an international call) but if what I've read online is correct the number that would need to be dialed (from the states) is: 011 84 98534579

If that is correct, I'm not sure what the "16" is for in the number I have. I know 84 is the country code... and Hanoi has 8 digit phone numbers (which I read were the last 8 digits)... but I am having a hard time figuring out what the 2 digits after the country code are for.

Anyways, if you want to, please feel free to call this person regularly and leave them long, pointless messages that you are sure they will not be able to understand. (i.e. leave the message in Pig Latin or Gibberish)

Cash4Gold

2008-10-20T21:58:00.000-07:00

If you watch tv at all you have probably seen this commercial. If not, now's your chance.

Anyways, the point of this post isn't to point out how annoying (and overplayed) it is... but rather two things that are said in the commercial and the thoughts that go through my head every time I see it.

Before I make these comments, first let me clarify that they may be made with the cynicism I have towards relationships. (Especially those with superficial and materialistic women.)

So here goes.

Around 16 seconds an old lady says "I had no idea my gold jewelry was worth so much money."

Really? No idea that gold costs a lot? Well maybe now you won't pitch a fit and put your husband in the "dog house" next time he doesn't spend a fortune when buying you a present. Not only is gold expensive, but so are the gems that you ladies like so much.

With that being said... next time your husband decides to spend thousands of dollars on his bills rather than on buying a pretty little trinket for your finger (or neck) be happy that he's paid the bills so you can have a place to live and food to eat.

The second thing in the commercial I'd like to talk about...

Around 35 seconds a lady says "I sent in my diamond wedding band from my first marriage and got more money than I could have ever imagined."

Yeah, that means your ex spent three months salary on a gift to show his love for you and you decided to leave him because times got hard. Instead of trying to actually work through your problems you decided to take the easy way out. Too bad your ex didn't buy a fake gold and zirconium ring for you instead.

And before I receive hate-comments about this... yes, I realize that not all women are evil and that there are many reasons people divorce. I just wanted to point out the thoughts I have every time I see this ridiculous commercial.

That Time of Year

2008-10-07T00:32:00.000-07:00

It's that time of year again. The time for my college to get together for our homecoming game.

Yay.

As you all know, I'm a huge fan of sports, so going to any game, especially one of this importance is number one on my priority list.

Ok, so I'm being a bit of a smartass. I hate sports, and I will be doing anything else other than going to this game.

Anyways, the point of this post isn't to declare my loathing of sports, but rather a response to an email I received from the school.

In the email, I was informed that the voting ballot for Homecoming King and Queen will be open from X date to Y date.

What I don't understand is, how am I supposed to vote for these people? I don't know any of them. I've never even met any of them. Furthermore, I highly doubt that I have even crossed paths with them on my way to my next class. So, if I don't have a clue who these people are, nor know anything about them, how am I supposed to cast a vote?

Now, as far as the females are concerned, I could just cast my vote according to who I find the most attractive, but then that goes against all of my views on matters such as these. I would rather vote for a hideous beast who actually deserved such a title rather than vote for the super hot daddy's girl who would only get an unnecessary ego boost from such an honor. But, this brings me back to the point that I don't know who is deserving of such an award and who isn't. Maybe the hottie is actually the best gal for the job. Who knows?

And to take this a bit further...

This is the same type of situation I'm in during the time of electing the next student body government. Last year I was bombarded with people in the quad asking for my vote. To each of them I simply said "I don't know any of the candidates nor do I know anything about them, so I don't feel as if I'm in any position to cast a vote." None of them were pleased or amused.

So, in conclusion, how exactly are any of the students expected to vote on things such as these? Now, I understand that Homecoming King / Queen or Student Body President isn't even close to the importance of voting for the next president of our country, but let me make a comparison anyways.

Imagine if the media said "Here's a list of presidential candidates. Voting opens on X day and closes on Y day. Be sure to go out and cast your vote." There's no mention of a place to view anything about any of the candidates. No way of knowing anything about their views, beliefs, ideas, etc. How, then, could we vote responsibly?

So, my opinion on this matter is that the school needs to offer at least some personal information on candidates that they want us to vote for... whether they be for homecoming or student government.

A little something

2008-09-23T16:08:00.001-07:00

Well, I have a post I'd like to make, but it's in response to a giant work of crap so that'll take me a few days to finish before I can actually post it.

In the meantime, for those of you who like music, but can't stand the radio because of the repetitiveness of the songs and the commercials, then I'd suggest checking out Pandora Radio. This is an online "radio" station that allows you to search for a specific song/artist/genre then it finds music that either fits in that category or that is similar to the artist/song you searched for. Best thing is, if you don't like a song you can tell it to never play it again. If you find that a certain song is being played too frequently you can just tell it not to play that song for a month.

Well, I hope you guys can utilize this site. I like it.

Only down side is, you have to create an account. However, I haven't seen anything negative come from doing so. I just find that kind of stuff annoying. (Although I can understand why it would be necessary for a site like this... since it remembers your likes and dislikes.)

9/11 Fact Sheet

2008-09-11T12:10:00.000-07:00

When walking from one class to another I often times pass by an area of campus I like to call "Propaganda Ally." This is an area of campus that allows for people to exercise their right to free speech. Walking down this path can often be entertaining, and other times it can just be annoying.

Today, as I was walking to the student center from my first class, I was handed a pamphlet. It reads as follows: (Under each of the points I will be posting my comments in italics)

The Independent Thinkers
9/11 FACT SHEET
What occurred on September 11th, 2001 is a matter of facts, physics and unprecedented violations of national protocol by American officials themselves. Here are 10 points to consider. There are hundreds more.

1. No steel-framed building before or since 9/11 has ever collapsed due to fire.

Have any steel-framed buildings before or after 9/11 ever collapsed due to a freaking airplane crashing into it? I was under the impression that the planes crashing into the buildings was the cause of the collapse. After all, the two planes that crashed into the building weighed around 300,000 pounds. Do these "thinkers" really believe that an extra 300,000 pounds of weight crashing into a building at speeds around 466mph isn't going to affect the buildings' frames?

2. No official agency (FAA, FBI, or the airlines) has ever released a list of the 9/11 passengers. But within hours, the FBI released a list of the hijackers.

Isn't this the case in ALL incidents like this? I mean, I don't know who all was killed in the Columbine shootings. I can find the names of the shooters though. Furthermore, I'm glad the names of the victims are kept private, and I believe that they should remain private. If anyone of my family were to be killed in such a tragic manner, the last thing I'd want is some complete stranger from across the country tracking down my telephone number to tell me how sorry (or happy) he is about my loss.

3. On September 11th, 2001 the FAA successfully grounded all aircraft--an unprecedented operation. Yet it could not successfully scramble any jet fighters that day--a normal procedure occurring over 100 times a year.

I’m pretty much not going to comment on this one because I don’t really get what point it is that they’re trying to make.

4. Building 7, a 47-story skyscraper and part of the World Trade Center complex, was not struck by a plane but collapsed in 6.5 seconds at 5:20 p.m. on September 11th, in the exact manner of a controlled demolition.

From my understanding, Building 7 was across the street from the twin towers. Building 7 took on severe damage from debris that fell from the towers. So, you’re telling me that if a building were to take on gashes in the walls that went from the 8th to 18th floor (that’s 10 stories of damage) that there’s no possible way that it would collapse? True, this building wasn’t hit by a plane, but it did take on its fair share of damage.

5. There was no visible airplane debris where flight 93 supposedly crashed in Pennsylvania--only a smoking hole in the ground, much like a bomb crater.

Supposedly? Only a smoking hole? Hmm… that’s odd. If there was “only a smoking hole in the ground” then what was it exactly that Somerset County Coroner Wally Miller identified at the crash site to be the bodies of the passengers? I guess he just supposedly found the passengers' bodies. Oh, and I guess some aliens teleported the flight data recorder 25 feet below the crater. Since there was no airplane debris… alien interference seems to be the only logical explanation as to how that got there.

6. Office fires burn at low temperatures of 600-800 dF. Steel melts at 2750 dF. Jet fuel is an ordinary hydrocarbon; its maximal burning temperature is 1200dF in open air. Neither jet fuel nor the burning contents of the buildings could have caused the towers' steel structure to buckle or fail.

Hmm… I wonder if the 300,000 pounds of exploding metal slamming into the building at 466 mph could have weakened the steel structure and caused the buildings to collapse. Then again, I’m sure the engineers and architects that worked on the towers worked that kind of weight and force into their schematics, so the plane crashing into the buildings probably had nothing to do with the collapse.

7. Tests have shown that cell-phone calls cannot be made at altitudes over 4000 to 8000 feet, as cell towers are located on the ground. Commercial airplanes fly at 30,000 feet and above. No passenger could have successfully placed a call for help by cell phone from an airborne plane on 9/11, as reported.

Dang, I didn’t realize the towers were 30,000 feet tall. And I thought the towers were 1,368 feet and 1,362 feet tall. But I must be wrong, because 1,368 and 1,362 are both less than 4000-8000. And if you can’t get what I’m hinting at here… if it’s true that cell phones won’t work at altitudes over 4000-8000 feet, and the towers were 1362-1368 feet, and the plane had to drop its altitude all the way down to the 1,300s then I’m confused with how it would be impossible for someone to make a call.

8. 9/11 was immediately declared an "act of war" by President Bush. The rubble from Ground Zero was carted away and the steel sold off without examination.

Umm… if we were to blow up some buildings of equal value/importance in another country… wouldn’t it be an act of war? Who wouldn’t have viewed it as an act of war? What, it was an accident? It wasn’t an actual attack?
Furthermore, what exactly needed to be examined? Also, did these people want the government to put police tape around the entire crash site until a full investigation was complete? Yeah, that’s practical. However, I would love to have seen the results of the investigation… “Well Sarge, it appears a giant flying device crashed into both towers.”

9. Enormous profits were made by insiders of plummeting stock prices of the two airlines involved in 9/11--American and United. Federal law protects their identities.

Hell yeah, and it should. Imagine what would happen if the entire population of America new the names of those who profited from the crashes. I don’t understand why this type of information should be made public. Someone is always going to profit from something bad. That doesn’t make the profiters evil people. They just had the better luck.

10. Accepting victims' compensation barred 9/11 families from further discovery through litigation.

And I’m leaving this alone because, again, I don’t understand what they’re trying to say here.

After going through this pamphlet, I find it humorous that this group calls themselves “thinkers.” It’s a lack of thought that produces this kind of nonsense.

You Should Quit Smoking

2008-09-09T18:59:00.000-07:00

After my first class of the day I decided to go to the 7-11 to buy a pack of cigarettes since I smoked the last one I had last night.

After buying the pack I decided to go next door to Toxic Hell... I mean Taco Bell to eat something for lunch. Once I finished consuming my meal I walked over to the trash can to throw away my debris. (One thing I left out at this point, I had pulled out my pack of cigarettes and was holding it in my left hand.)

At that point this lady behind me said "You should throw away that pack of cigarettes while you're at it."

I suppressed a laugh while I responded with "It's a brand new pack. I'm not throwing it away."

This woman then proceeded with telling me that she was serious, and that I really should throw the pack away. She went on to tell me how if I continue smoking then I'll get wrinkles and by the time I'm 50 I'll look like I'm 65.

At this point I'm slightly annoyed... as I always am every time some anti-smoker informs me of information I'm very well aware of.

The woman then said "Besides, if you don't quit smoking then you won't be able to run a marathon with me."

???

With that comment I laughed and said "I won't be running any marathon whether I smoke or not."

She inquired as to why. I then told her that I can't run because of a genetic disorder that gives me arthritic type symptoms so runing a marathon would be the equivalent to torture.

She then asked if smoking helped my condition. I laughed and told her "No" as I continued on walking. She continued saying something but I didn't hear her, nor do I really care what she was saying.

That was the end of that interaction.

Ok...

For any non-smoker who may be reading this... Don't annoy smokers by telling them that smoking's bad for them.

I mean seriously, do people think that we (smokers) think cigarettes are packed full of vitamins and minerals? Do they think we believe tobacco smoke contains some sort of ancient magic that will protect us from all harm?

I just don't get it. I wouldn't go to a bar and tell everyone within that they shouldn't drive home after their night of fun. Everyone in that bar is well aware that driving drunk is not only illegal, but potentially fatal for them and everyone they pass on the road. What purpose would it serve for me to stick my nose in their business to inform them of information they already know about?

With all that being said, I have decided to attempt to form a student organization on campus for smokers. I've got to figure out a name (I'm thinking Smokers United... but am definitely not set on that), get an adviser (a staff member), and a certain number of members. So, I guess I'm going to be putting fliers up on campus for people to contact me if they'd be interested in this group. We'll see what happens.

Yeah... so...

2008-09-02T15:18:00.000-07:00

Hello to everyone who may happen to randomly check this in the next few days. I'm debating whether or not I should attempt to revive this blog... or if I should just make a new one and start over.

I don't really like the idea of starting over, but since this one seems to have died I'm thinking it would be a good idea.

Let me know what you think.

I'm thinking of actually continuing to blog (whether on this current one or on a new one) because I have time between classes to make posts.

I let this one die for a few reasons.
1) I became a WoW addict and have spent way too much time on that.
2) I became tired of coming up with new things to say
3) I kind of went into a "blah" type of mood for a while and didn't feel like writing about the various things taking place in my life
4) I felt as if my life became very boring and didn't think anyone would want to read anything about what was going on.

I think I'm now ready to start anew. A lot has happened in the past few months. Some of which I am not going to blog about (although I would really like to) because of who may accidentally run across this page. (You never know who's going to Google your name.)

One thing that I will mention is that I have been working at a BBQ joint. That has been an experience. I started at the beginning of summer and my last day will be the 12th of this month. That's about all the detail I'm going to go into on that in public.

Ok, so I'll stop rambling now. I would like to assure everyone (or anyone who might actually still check here) that my future posts will not be as boring and non-descriptive as what I just wrote above.

Hope everyone is doing well and I look forward to writing again.

More to come...

Is it just me?

2008-03-26T19:48:00.000-07:00

I've seen this sign (or one extremely similar to it) in various cities. I'm not sure if I should even make this post because every time you see the sign I think you'll start thinking about it as I do.

I know that it's asking:
"Are you pregnant? Do you need someone to talk to?"

but every time I see this sign I read it as:
"Are you pregnant? Want help getting that way?"
In other words, I've always looked at it as someone asking you to call in if you want help getting impregnated. I can just imagine some greasy, bald-headed, middle-aged man with thick glasses eagerly awaiting a phone call so he can rush to the young lady's house to give his best efforts of getting her pregnant.

I don't know... is it just me? Or do others of you read it the same way?

Wow...

2008-03-03T22:31:00.000-08:00

So I just ran across this article on CNN.com

I can't believe people are actually sick enough to do something like this... but then again... I guess I shouldn't really be surprised at what our human nature is capable of.

Here's a bit from the article:
Feb. 26th, 2008
"Two teenagers hid overnight in a house and spent more than six hours torturing a disabled woman after her mother left in the morning, authorities said.

Butler County Sheriff Richard Jones said the teenage boy and girl tied up the 18-year-old woman, clubbed her, kicked her, shaved her head and soaked her with water before making her walk barefoot outside in the snow.

They also ignored pleas from the woman, who had undergone brain surgery, not to hit her in the head, investigators said."

The article said that they haven't yet decided whether or not the "children" will be tried as adults. I honestly can't see why they shouldn't be tried as adults. They knew perfectly well what they were doing.

And apparently, one of them was already in trouble with the law for something... which is why they wanted to steal the woman's car in the first place.

Yet again... another example of why we need harsher punishments. Had this little prick been issued a harsher punishment in the first place, he/she (didn't say which one was the previous offender) would have probably thought twice before doing something like this and this whole situation could've been avoided.

I don't even know what else to say on this matter. I just hope these "children" get what they deserve.

On second thought... this is another example of why I believe the definition to "cruel and unusual punishment" needs to be changed to "no more cruel or unusual than the crime committed."

In this case, the "children" should both be tied to a chair, be tortured for 6 - 8 hours, have their heads shaved, water thrown over them, then forced to walk around barefoot in the snow for a while.

Ok, this story has me all sorts of pissed. I'm out. Hopefully I'll have another update soon.

Yes, I'm still alive...

2008-02-05T06:11:00.000-08:00

Ok... ok...

So it's been a little over 3 months since my last update. Sorry.

There are several reasons for this... reasons I'm not really going to go into much detail on. Suffice it to say that I really just haven't felt like saying anything. I sat down several times over the last 3 months to post something... but once I got about halfway through it I closed my internet(s) browser and never published it.

Anyways... I might try to make a comeback... so long as I find stuff to post about.

Since I'm making a post now, that means that I've actually got something to say.

So here goes...

As many (or most, or even all) of you may know, the Super Bowl was this past Sunday. Any of you who know me know that I abhor all sports. I find sporting events to be the most boring, torturous activity on the planet. Therefore, it should be easily assumed that I did not watch the game.

All of this leads up to the point I'm going to attempt. Seeing as how I didn't watch the game, it logically follows that I didn't see any of the commercials aired during the game. However, I did happen to catch this ad as I was logging into MySpace.

The words in the ad is what I found to be both ironically true and hilarious... and I wonder if Victoria's Secret did this on purpose.

"Let the real games begin. Happy Valentine's Day."

Seeing as how this is a lingerie ad, I'm assuming that the meaning of "real games" is sex.

Maybe it's because I'm a cynic when it comes to romance/love... but this commercial couldn't be any more true for me. I couldn't tell you how many stories I've heard where no matter what the guy does for his girlfriend/wife it's just not good enough and the poor guy gets stuck in the "dog house" because he's just not "sensitive" enough... or he "just doesn't care."

To me, the "real games" are the ridiculous games women play in relationships. A guy can spend a fortune on her, try his best to treat her as she ought to be treated, and she walks all over him for doing so... and then somehow manipulates him into thinking he's some terrible creature that was better off in the underworld and never should have surfaced.

So yes... I laughed at the commercial (despite how gorgeous Adrian Lima is).

Anyways... I don't want this to be an Anit-V-Day post (even though I have always found Valentine's Day to be an absurd "holiday" for as long as I can remember).

Therefore, I'll give a bit of an update as to the things currently in my life.

Here's the classes I'm taking:
Intro to Criminal Justice: I have my first test tomorrow and am hoping I can remember all of the vocabulary... because that seems like what the majority of the test will be over. I hate memorizing stuff.

Forensic Evidence: This class has some interesting material. I have a hard time concentrating in class because the fan is so freaking loud it's extremely difficult to hear what the professor is saying. It's early (early for me anyways) and I'd much rather still be in bed. I'm worried about the tests... there's only 2... the midterm and the final. I'd much rather have more tests since if you bomb one you can still make it up. With only 2 tests, if you bomb one you're screwed.

Social Psychology: Intersting so far. So far it seems to be a bit of a repeat of info covered in previous psych classes I've taken... which is a good thing since I have my first test this afternoon. I stayed up late studying... and by the time I was finished it was late enough that if I were to have gone to sleep I wouldn't have woken up... so... I've pulled another all nighter. Yay! No sleep! (So if this post doesn't make any sense... I blame it on that.)

And lastly

Forensic Psychology: I'm taking this with the best professor I've ever had. I would gladly take every class this man offers simply because I think he's amazing at relaying the information and he presents it in such a way that it's somewhat easy to remember.

And that's that. Nothing really too interesting has happened. I guess that's a good thing. I'd rather life be somewhat bland than have it full of crap going wrong every time I turn around. (Been there, done that, didn't like it.)

If you've made it through this whole post, congrats and thanks. Hopefully I'll have more to add soon.

Is it just me...

2007-10-28T23:02:00.000-07:00

or does this not look right to you either?

(click the small pictures to see the larger ones... duh)

One of the gifts for WoW's Hallow's End celebration is the broom that you see my Priest riding in the above pictures. The broom handle just really doesn't sit right with me... it looks a bit like... well... you get my drift. I think the graphics designer should've made that look a bit more like someone riding a broom instead of a broom popping out of someone.

Spring Semester

2007-10-22T14:35:00.000-07:00

I registered for my classes today and it went a lot smoother this time than it did for this current semester. Here's the classes I'll be taking in the Spring:

* Social Psychology
* Forensic Psychology
* Introduction to Criminal Justice
* Forensic Evidence

Good news is, I'll be taking another class with my favorite professor.

In other news, I'm thinking of going to England for the Summer II session. As for now, this is just wishful thinking. Unless I can get a scholarship... or a spare $3500 I'll be staying here. The fee covers classes, food, a place to sleep, a little spending money, and a tour of a couple of places. Also, I can earn up to 7 hours worth of psychology credits. I would really like to do this... so hopefully God will give me a way to do this. We'll see.

YAY! Two posts in two days. Hopefully I'll get back into updating this thing regularly.

Another Overdue Update

2007-10-21T20:42:00.000-07:00

Ok, so my niece and nephew will be one year old in just 2 days. We celebrated their birthday yesterday... which is where this post's picture came from. (If you want to see the rest of the pictures just check out my MySpace profile [which is linked further down on the left-hand side of my blog])

In school related news... this semester has probably been the most stressful one I've had yet. I'm not sure if it's just the classes that are making it stressful, or if it's that I've been out of school for a year (excluding this past summer). Maybe it's a mixture of both.

Tomorrow at noon I can register for my Spring classes. I've narrowed the list down to the following:
* Social Psychology
* Industrial Psychology
* Introduction to Statistics
* Experimental and Research Methods
* Forensic Psychology
* Introduction to Criminal Justice
* Forensic Evidence
* Crime Theory and Victimization

I'm hoping that the Spring semester will be much less stressful. I'm also hoping that I can get at least one class with my favorite professor.

Oh! I almost forgot. I went to see a play (The Metamorphoses) this afternoon for my Mythology class. If you don't know anything about this particular play... the whole thing takes place around a pool. (Click Here for a preview... oh, and this isn't the same production I saw.) So anyways, as you can imagine, where there's a pool, there's usually soaked people. Well... the costumes were all made out of white material. Now... when white material mixes with water... you can imagine what happens. Ok, so there was this one part of the play where one of the actors comes out wearing nothing but a small piece of fabric draped over his shoulder and tied around the inside of one of his thighs. As he walked out I thought... surely... that he wasn't actually naked. However, when he laid down in the pool... exposing his bare ass to the world... I realized that the man was in fact naked. Thankfully there was a shadow blocking his family jewels from my vision. Other than that, the play was actually interesting.

Well, I think I'm going to start getting ready for bed. I actually want to go to bed early tonight... which is odd.

In need of an update

2007-10-10T22:08:00.000-07:00

Panda text messaged me earlier asking the name of my apartment complex. I told her, then asked why. She then called me to tell me this story:
Click here to read.

This apparently happened in my apartment complex today. Craziness.

I really need to keep up with updating. I'm just having difficulties finding the motivation to do so at the moment.

sigh

2007-09-21T01:35:00.000-07:00

Ok, well, I don't feel like giving an update on my life just yet... therefore, I'm going to be ranting about something I've ranted about in the past.

As I've walked around campus I've noticed something that I really don't like. Now, I'm not one to bash people for what they wear... but I find these to be absolutely hideous:

I mean, it looks like someone attached two semi-transparent dinner plates to some plastic and passed them off as sunglasses. Surely, the person who invented these intended for them to be a humorous gag gift... right? I mean...

Come on! I remember these when I was a little kid... way before Paris and other celebrities decided to wear these atrocities (which somehow made these popular).

Girls all over campus are wearing these. The bigger they are they better they think they look. I just don't get it. I honestly don't see how a female could look in the mirror with these things on and think they look good. I think I remember women my grandma's age wearing giant sunglasses like these back when I was little. And since when has a teen/young woman ever wanted to look like an 80 year old woman?

I don't know... maybe I'm just missing something here.

Battleship

2007-07-31T11:05:00.001-07:00

Ah... the good ol' game of Battleship. I'm sure we all remember this game.

Here we see an old box for the popular game. It's nice to see father and son sitting down to enjoy some quality time with each other whilst having fun playing a game.

But wait...

What's that in the background?

Mom is spending some quality time with her daughter whilst having fun washing dishes.

I wonder why the box changed over the years...

Wow... where to start

2007-07-27T13:56:00.000-07:00

I guess I should probably update this thing before everyone assumes I gave up the blog.

Ok... let's see what all I can say since I last updated.

I finished Defensive Driving and got all of that stuff turned into the court so I didn't have a warrant out for my arrest.

I also finished my abnormal psych class. I'm happy to say I made an "A."

Classes for the fall start in about a month. I'll be taking:

Mythology - The study of myths in ancient cultures, mythic patterns in modern literature, and Hollywood as mythmaker.

History of Philosophy Since 1600 - Modern philosophical thought through the 19th century.

Lifespan Development - Survey of the psychology of human development from the pre-natal period through adulthood. Emphasis placed on cognitive, motivational, and physiological processes of development in childhood and adolescence.

Personality Psychology - A comprehensive introduction to research, theory, and application in the field of personality. Individual differences and situation influences are examined concerning authoritarianism, achievement motivation, anxiety, intelligence, self concept, interpersonal attraction, aggression, sexuality, and altruism.

This upcoming semester looks like it may be really interesting. I'm looking forward to taking classes again. I took Summer Session II off since I didn't have the money to go back at the time.

Let's see...

Oh, I tried another welding job. When hired, the boss told me that if at any point I didn't feel confident enough to do the job, then to say something... and he'd say something to me if didn't think I was capable of doing what needed to be done.
Well, after working on a simple project (which took me much longer than it should have) and noticing the quality of my work... and after seeing the other guys' work... I decided that I have lost all professional welding skills. I knew that it would take me several months to get to the point that I needed to be if I was going to do a decent job. So I ended up telling the boss that I didn't think it was fair of me to ask him to keep me on while I practice to get to where I needed to be.

Shortly after coming to this conclusion, but before I said anything, I was grinding on that project. Whilst grinding I felt the tiny flake of metal hit my cheek, knew it bounced off the inside of my safety glasses, because I then felt it hit my eye. My eye watered up a bit, I blinked a few times, then I didn't feel the flake any more. I assumed that I got it out so I didn't worry about it. Well, the following morning I woke up with my eye pouring out water, it felt like a hot piece of sand was in there, so I went to the bathroom to see if I could get the irritation to stop. As I flipped on the light and looked in the mirror I noticed that my eye was a bit swollen, and extremely bloodshot. I held my eyelid open as I looked in the mirror to see if I could see the metal that I knew was irritating my eye. There it was... right under the pupil... about halfway down the iris. I tried to pick it out with a small piece of rolled up toilet paper. (This works for just about anything that gets in your eyes) Unfortunately, the flake of metal wouldn't budge. So I then decided to try to get it out with water. I cupped my hand and placed my eye into the small puddle. Bad idea. That felt as if I dunked my eye into gasoline and lit it on fire. At this point I decided I'd call in and let them know that I needed to go to the doctor.

It took me from 6:30 in the a.m. until 9:30 in the a.m. to find a place that could see me. The appointment was set up for 10:30. Great. So I waited at my apartment (after driving around for 3 hours trying to find a clinic that was open) until my dad showed up. Thankfully he drove in because it was rather difficult to drive... and even more so after I got the metal out... but I'll get to that.

As I waited for the eye doctor one of his assistants put some numbing drops in my eye. That was such a great relief. However, after about 15 minutes the drops power begun to fade. The assistant came back in to check on me. She said, "So, how's your eye feel..." then she looked at me and said "Oh! That's a stupid question." and rushed to put more numbing drops in my eye... because when she actually looked up at me I had water pouring out of my eye and I think my knuckles were white from my grip on the armrests.

The eye doctor finally came into the room I was in about 11:30. He then numbed my eye again... then sat down with a needle and some tweezers. He began to dig in my eye with the tweezers. Let me tell you... I about puked every time my vision blurred due to him tweezing that eye. Plus... I could hear the clicking of my eye-flesh each time the tweezers let go of it. I then saw him put the tweezers down and pick up the needle. I asked if that was in fact a needle... he chuckled then said "Don't worry, you won't feel it." And he was right. I don't know if he injected something in my eye... or if he was just using it to pick. 30 minutes later, the doctor finished.

So... why did a flake of metal take half an hour to dig out of my eye? Well... the flake took only seconds to get out... but I was informed that the tiny flake had rusted overnight... so the doctor was digging out smaller flakes of rust. He said there was still one little piece he couldn't get out, but he said it should flush itself out naturally. I think it did... because it's not bothering me any more.

Oh... but I learned something from the eye drops he gave me. I didn't know this... but you can actually taste things that you put in your eye. I thought I was going crazy. I'd put the antibiotic eye drops in, then about 2 minutes later I could taste it in the back of my throat. I asked a nurse at the hospital if this was normal... and after a call to the pharmacist she informed me that it was actually normal. Who knew?

So... what was I doing at a hospital? Well, my grandma's in there at the moment. She went in for a "simple" surgical procedure over a month ago... but there were several complications after the surgery. A large section of her colon died, so they had to remove most of her colon. Now they're saying that her liver and... I don't remember what... is dying but my grandma refuses to have any more surgeries (which I don't blame her). Anyways, it's been a very slow recovery. She seems to be making some progress... but she's still got a way to go.

I read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I really enjoyed the book... but I'm a bit sad because now there won't be any more books. Oh well. Now I need to go back and read all 7 back-to-back.

And that's about all that's been going on (that I can remember at the moment). Not much to update about... my life's a bit boring at the moment.

Anyways... thanks for reading. I'll hopefully update this more frequently than I have been.

Internet

2007-06-13T14:49:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow... at some time between 8 in the a.m. and 12 in the noon I will have an internet connection to call my very own.

No more having to wait to get to school to check email/myspace/etc...

An internet connection also means more World of Warcraft! Woohoo!

So watch out World Wide Web... here I come. Er... tomorrow.

Past Due Update

2007-06-10T23:08:00.000-07:00

A lot has gone on since my last post.

First, I must admit that I finally got around to buying World of Warcraft. I have not found a more addicting video game since I got my Nintendo Entertainment System back in the 80's. Hopefully I'll be able to exercise enough self control to actually do things of importance before playing the game.

I'm now having to use my laptop as my primary computer since my PC decided to just stop working. I'm not sure what's going on with that thing. It started rebooting randomly... and then the reboots started occurring more and more frequently. Then one day the screen went black but the computer's fans continued to spin. I then turned off the computer and then it wouldn't come back on at all. I left it alone for a few days then powered it back up just to see if it would magically start working just as it magically had stopped. It didn't work. The computer at least powered up... but the screen remained blank. I know it's not the monitor because I use a TV for as my screen and the TV is able to still function properly. I'm hoping it's just the video card and not the motherboard. Either way, I can't afford to get it fixed at the moment so it's just going to be an expensive paperweight for the moment.

I started school back up... finally. I've been out of school for almost a year now and feels great to be back in. I was amazed at 4 year college’s tuition. For 1 summer class I paid the same amount I paid for 4 class and books at Blinn. This summer I'm taking an Abnormal Psych class. My professor is absolutely hilarious. But more importantly, his teaching method actually has me retaining what he says without much effort. Well... it's either his teaching skills or I just managed to get a whole lot smarted over the past year. I've only been in school for a week now and I've already turned in my first paper. I managed a 46 out of 50... or a 92 depending on how you want to look at it. Either way, I made an "A" and I'm super psyched about that. I was afraid I was barely going to get a passing grade since I really didn't know what to write about nor how to relate it to the class' themes. I was pleasantly surprised when I saw my grade. Hopefully the rest of this summer session will follow this path (except I would like ot feel a lot more confident in my future papers).

I’m also toying with the idea of getting a dual degree. The psych department required a minor; however, if I get a second degree (which is only about 2 semesters of extra work) then I can graduate with 2 different degrees. I’m thinking of getting a BS in Psychology and a BA in Philosophy. I’m really hoping that it’s possible to get a BA in both because I really don’t want to have to take that many science classes. Then again, this is only an idea that I’m playing with in my mind at the moment.

I'm finally moved into my apartment. I had to drive from Austin every day this past week so I'm really glad that I no longer have to do that. My apartment is close enough to campus that I can ride a bike... so now I no longer have to schedule my day around when the busses come and go (except when it rains). I'm really happy with my apartment (except for the cost of rent). It's extremely close to everything I really need. There's a liquor store and a tobacco store practically across the street. But seriously, there's an H.E.B., Target, Blockbuster, various food places, a police station, a hospital, and a pet store all within about 2 miles from here. I still have a lot of unpacking to do… but at least all the furniture is in the right rooms along with all the boxes. Now all I have to do is empty boxes and I’ll be done.

I will have my own internet connection this Thursday. I was glad to find out that the cable companies finally provide an internet connection without charging for basic cable. I rarely watch T.V. and didn't want to have to pay for a service that I'd rarely use.

I'm not sitting in my apartment and am remembering how lonely living by yourself can be. Don't get me wrong, I love having my own space and my own things and the ability to do whatever I want whenever I want in my own place... it's just nice to have someone to talk to every now and again. I (obviously) haven’t lived here long enough to make any new friends so hopefully I will find a good beer drinking buddy in the near future.

I'm also in need of a job. The cost of living here is much more expensive than I'm used to. In College Station I had my own apartment and it only cost me $380 a month. The 1 bedroom apartments here cost almost double that. I'm hoping that this job I'm thinking of will be available at the hospital here that I know is available in Austin's hospitals. It's not exactly "permanent"... it's very similar to substituting in that you call in to see what times/days are available. It'd be the perfect job for a student. I'll be contacting the hospital sometime this week.

I need to take a defensive driving course sometime this week so that I can provide all the info to the Pflugerville courthouse so that a warrant for my arrest won't be issued. I have until July 3rd to get all that taken to the courthouse. Oh, the defensive driving course is because of the wreck I was in back in April. Now that I think of it, I'm not sure if I made a blog post about that. In case I didn't, I was in a wreck one day in April as I was leaving from work. Yes, it was my fault. I went to turn and didn't see the person driving in the turn lane due to a semi blocking my view of the lane. I should've just exited at the light like I did most days. Oh well. At lease my car was fixed so I didn't have to spend any extra money buying a new car.

Let's see... I'm sure there's something I'm forgetting... but since I can't think of it and since I can't really play WoW right now I'm going to end this post and go to bed.

Thanks for reading... if you made it this far.

Bridge to Terabithia

2007-05-22T08:17:00.000-07:00

This is another children's book turned movie. Several months ago, when I saw the previews for this movie, I thought it looked really good and wanted to see it.

However, before seeing movies based on books, I prefer to have read the book(s) first. So I went and bought this book a few months ago... and it met the same fate so many of my other books have met before it. In other words, the book sat on my bookshelf, unopened, for quite some time.

I was semi-tired last night (read: this morning) but not enough to actually go to sleep, so I decided that I'd read the book. It's really short (around 160 pages) so I figured I'd read it all the way through.

This book is amazing! (It's no Harry Potter, but still...) It is absolutely nothing like I thought it would be. I thought it was going to be more Narnia-ish... but it turned out to be more like Pan's Labyrinth.

The only negative thing I have to say about the story is the author's take on a certain (major) theological issue. I'd say more about it... but I don't want to spoil the book for those who haven't read it. I believe that small section of the book could've been taken away and the story would've still been amazing.

All in all I would definitely recommend reading this book. You can get a copy of it for around $7 (maybe cheaper if you buy online). It's definitely worth it.

Now I need to wait for the movie to come out to Blockbuster.

A Little Mother's Day Help

2007-05-11T16:23:00.000-07:00

Since Mother's Day is just around the corner I decided to help my readers out by offering some last minute Mother's Day gift ideas.

Vacuum Cleaner:
No mother should be without one of these. If the carpet in your mom's house is looking a bit dirty, then it's pretty obvious that she's been slacking on her motherly duties. Giving the gift of suction power is a good way of giving the hint to your mom to getup off that couch, stop watching soap operas and start fulfilling her duties.

Iron:
This is another item no mother should be without. A good indication to whether or not this will be the right gift this Mother's Day is to look at your dad. Does his shirts have more wrinkles than grandma? If the answer is "yes" then you know that this gift will not go unappreciated .

Various Cleaning Chemicles:
Are the counter tops a bit dirty? Has mom been slacking? If so, that may be because she's out of cleaning chemicals. Check under the kitchen and/or bathroom sink(s). If the supply of chemicals are low, mom would love nothing more than to be restocked on her special day.

Other Cleaning Supplies:
Does mom have a full supply of cleaning chemicals but the house is still a mess? If so, you may want to check the condition of her sponges, mop, broom, toilet brush, etc... If any of these are in poor condition then you know exactly what will make mom happy on the 13th.

Laundry Detergent:
This is a very important item that a mom could never get too much of. If she's washing the laundry as often as she's supposed to then she'll need as much of this stuff as she can get.

Cooking Utensils:
Mom's cooking lacking in flavor? You may want to get her a new cookbook. And don't forget, no mother could ever have too many wooden spoons or spatulas. As far as cooking supplies go, as long as it can be found in the kitchen department at any store, then it will most likely be a great idea for a Mother's Day gift.

My last (and best) idea for a Mother's Day gift is a combination of all the previous ideas. This will be what I call the Mother's Day Smörgåsbord. This will, no doubt, be the favorite thing your mom receives all year.

I hope I have been a help to all of you. May your mom's house be spotless, all of your clothes clean and ironed, and may all of your bellies be filled by mom's good cooking this Mother's Day.

My Poor Tummy

2007-04-22T21:33:00.000-07:00

I don't know what the deal is here. I felt fine all last week... but then on Friday, we left for Dallas, and stopped to eat at Long John Silvers. Ever since then my stomach has had a dull ache. At first I thought it was the food, but seeing as how that meal has long since left my body... I don't think it's the food that caused it.

I haven't had any of the normal "friends" that like to keep stomach-aches company, just the dull aching. It's really weird. It's not like any other stomach ache I've ever had.

I went ahead and cancelled the job I had for tomorrow because I don't think I will be able to stand in a classroom all day. I didn't really want to cancel the job because I like money... but I really don't think it would be a good idea to go.

Anyways, hopefully I'll be feeling better tomorrow because I really would like to work the rest of the week.

The New Short Titanic Script

2007-04-19T16:07:00.000-07:00

One of my friends posted this on MySpace. It made me laugh, so I decided to post it here to share with others.

Enjoy:

(Scene 1)
KATE WINSLET: My, this is a fancy boat, isn't it?

KATE'S WEASELLY FIANCE: Yes, it certainly is. Here is the art you asked for. It is by an artist named "Picasso." I am certain he will amount to nothing.

KATE: Ha ha ha. That is very funny to our 90's audience, because they know these priceless paintings will sink with the boat.

LEONARDO DiCAPRIO: Hello, I'm Leonardo DiCaprio. Perhaps you have seen the many Internet sites dedicated to the worship of me. You are very pretty.

KATE: Thank you. So are you.

LEONARDO: I know. Prettier than you, in fact. I am going to put on my "brooding" face now, to ensure that women will keep coming back again and again to see this movie. Later, my white shirt will be soaking wet. Women will find this very attractive, even though I have the body of a 12 year old.

KATE: While you're doing that, I will concentrate on standing here and looking pretty, to keep the men in the audience interested until the boat sinks and people start dying.

WEASELLY FIANCE: Excuse me. I do not like you, Leonardo, even though you saved my fiance's life. I am going to sneer at you and treat you like dirt because you're poor, and then I'll probably be physically abusive to my fiance, and then, just to make sure the audience really hates me,and to make sure my character is entirely one-dimensional, perhaps I'll throw a small child into the water.

AUDIENCE: Boo! We hate you! Even though all real people have at least a few admirable qualities, we have not been shown any of yours, and plus, you're trying to come between Leonardo and Kate, and so therefore we hate you! Boo! (Even though technically it is Leonardo who is coming between you and Kate. But Leonardo is handsomer than you, even though he is only 12, so we are on his side. Boo!)

(Scene 2)

LEONARDO: I'm glad we snuck away like this so that you could cheat on your fiance.

KATE: So am I. Even though I am engaged to him and have made a commitment to marry him, that is no reason why you and I cannot climb into the back seat of a car (probably his) and steam up the windows together. The fact that I am the heroine of the movie will no doubt help the cattle-like audience forgive me of this, though they would probably be VERY angry indeed if my fiance were to do the same thing to me.

AUDIENCE: Damn straight we would ! Moo! We mean, Boo!

LEONARDO: I agree. First, I would like to draw you, though, so of course you have to take off all your clothes.

KATE: All right, then. (sound of clothes hitting the floor)

(Scene 3)

FIRST MATE: Captain, we're about to hit an iceberg!

CAPTAIN: Great, I could use some ice for my drink. (sound of drinking)

ICEBERG: (hits boat)

FIRST MATE: That can't be good.

CAPTAIN: Bottoms up!

AUDIENCE: Huh?

FIRST MATE: That was irony, you fools.

AUDIENCE: Baa! Moo! Where's Leonardo?

(Scene 4)

LEONARDO: I have been informed that this boat is sinking.

KATE: That is terrible. And I am the only passenger that has noticed that there are not enough lifeboats! Everybody else took New Math in school.

LEONARDO: Would you like to engage in some more immoral-but-justified-because-we're-pretty behavior?

KATE: Certainly. (kisses him)

WEASELLY FIANCE: I'm getting the raw end of the deal here: (to Leonardo) Listen, Leonardo, to cement my morally-dubious-yet-somehow-less-annoying-than-you personality, I am going to falsely accuse you of a crime, then handcuff you to this pipe here in a room that will soon be filling with water, due to the fact that we are sinking, which I believe has been mentioned previously.

LEONARDO: Why don't you just shoot me?

WEASELLY FIANCE: Because then you wouldn't be able to escape and save Kate from me. Also, all of the women in the audience would get up and leave. Of course, you're going to die anyway.

AUDIENCE: Don't
spoil it for us! Booooooo!!

LEONARDO: He's right, though. I am doomed. It's in the script.

AUDIENCE: Aww, look how cute he is when he's doomed!

WEASELLY FIANCE: I really hate you people.

(Scene 5)

150-YEAR-OLD-KATE: And that's when Leonardo rescued me from my evil fiance and helped me float on a board in the water. Of course, if it hadn't been for having to rescue HIM, I could have gotten on an actual lifeboat to begin with, and not nearly frozen my butt off. Anyway, he's pretty much dead now, and I'm well over a thousand years old, and who's making my supper? I need another Depends. Turn down that Enya music,
it's making my ears hurt. You kids today, with your loud music. Why, in my day - hey!
Don't you walk away from me, Mr. Snooty-Patootie Oceanologist! I'd turn you over my knee, if I could bend it. I'll beat you in the head with this huge extremely rare blue diamond! Hey, come back here!

(FADE TO BLACK; roll credits; play annoying Celine Dion song again.)

THE END

Sanjaya Malakar

2007-04-18T19:19:00.000-07:00

For those of you who don't know, Sanjaya was finally booted off of American Idol. I am so extremely happy about this.

I honestly don't understand how he made it as far in the competition as he did. I mean, I've heard drunks at karaoke bars sing better than this "no-talent ass clown."

This season, after Hollywood week, I honestly thought Sanjaya would be the first to go. But, alas, he stayed on the show. The following week I was just sure that he would be kicked off... but I was once again disappointed. It finally got to the point to where I didn't think he would get kicked off. So instead of trying to guess that he would be the one to go home, I started guessing that the second worse singer would be the one to go home.

Finally... tonight... he was told to go home. I cheered loudly and clapped my hands. Now, all of the singers can actually have a fair competition.